Parents didn’t choose me as executor trustee of their will

Discussion in 'Wills & Estate Planning' started by Alex P Keaton, 2nd Feb, 2022.

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  1. Alex P Keaton

    Alex P Keaton Well-Known Member

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    Hi

    I’m just looking for some advice.

    I just came across my parents will and they chose my other siblings as executor/trustee of their will and left me out.

    I think they left me out because back when they did their wills I was mentally ill. I’m fine now. Nothing wrong with me.

    I’ll have to bring this up with them.

    This impacts me doesn’t it!? Has this happened to anyone else. I should have the same rights as my siblings to be included as executor of their will!?

    Can anyone help?
     
  2. WattleIdo

    WattleIdo midas touch

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    It actually doesn't affect you because the executor has to do what they're told. It's just admin.
    For some weird reason my mother chose my most incompetent brother to be the executor and it didn't make any difference. It's just providing contacts and bank accounts and paying bills.
    In the end my brother asked me to take over anyway.
    You're not missing much. Parents are parents - let them do it their way. It Is their money.
     
  3. wylie

    wylie Moderator Staff Member

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    I agree with @WattleIdo. I'm assuming you've not been left out of the will, but just aren't chosen to be executor?

    My MIL has our oldest son and one of her daughters as executors. There are five children and a dozen grandchildren so she just chose two from different generations, and different families to be executors. They have to follow the directions, and cannot go "off piste" and make their own calls on where things should go.

    I wouldn't worry. ;)
     
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  4. Alex P Keaton

    Alex P Keaton Well-Known Member

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    Thank you so much for your reply! I really appreciate it!

    You have put my mind at ease! I guess back then they probably thought I wouldn’t like the stress of it.
     
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  5. Alex P Keaton

    Alex P Keaton Well-Known Member

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    Ohhhh interesting. That’s good to know. Thanks so much wylie!!

    lol I haven’t been on here in ages. I thought people might be able to help. It’s not something I wanted to ask on Facebook. Lol This is more anonymous.

    yep. I’ve been included in the will.
     
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  6. jaydee

    jaydee Well-Known Member

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    The fact that you are aware of your parents will and wishes is more important than who administers it when they pass.

    Obviously your parents are still alive and if they are still of sound mind discuss it with them, but don't be disappointed if their reply is not what you want to hear. The bottom line is they needed to appoint an executor (or two).

    I would not want to be co-executor with any on my siblings. I would prefer it to be only one person, whether that be me or someone else.

    Bottom line is you will not be disadvantaged, but perhaps even relieved of some of the less desirable decisions.
     
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  7. Rex

    Rex Well-Known Member

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    Mate as long as you trust your siblings to act honestly you have nothing to worry about, in fact you should be glad. Being an executor is a time consuming, thankless and sometimes stressful task especially if it's a complex estate and/or multiple beneficiaries with conflicting personalities involved.
     
  8. Alex P Keaton

    Alex P Keaton Well-Known Member

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    ok good points yep. Thanks
     
  9. Alex P Keaton

    Alex P Keaton Well-Known Member

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    yeah I trust them. All good
     
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  10. skater

    skater Well-Known Member

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    This shows that they've thought about how things may affect you, and is good. Don't stress.
     
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  11. willair

    willair Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    I would not worry about it as you have the copy --and what's inside that will as long as there is a equal share then there is no problem..

    We recently went through what your parents have done..

    That's the hard part to choose who will carry the executor ,what we did was just ask each daughter who wanted the job ..One said yes and all the other daughters know what's happening and are all on the same page..
     
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  12. Paul@PAS

    Paul@PAS Tax, Accounting + SMSF + All things Property Tax Business Plus Member

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    Some parents will make ALL kids executors and create a massive mess since getting two people to agree can be difficult but try three !!
     
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  13. Trainee

    Trainee Well-Known Member

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    There are a few things to think about when choosing executor(s), esp if you have a more complicated estate. These days insurance, super, ppor, IP and shares are common.

    You probably want the person who lives in the same country and has some financial and legal knowledge. It may seem 'fairer' to make all the kids joint executors, but that means everyone has to sign everything.
     
  14. SatayKing

    SatayKing Well-Known Member

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    Would the creation of a separate trust for each beneficiary assist with that issue? Probably complicated though.
     
  15. qak

    qak Well-Known Member

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    More than 2 executors would be painful (even 2 is annoying, IMO).

    Your parents have the right to pick their own executors.
     
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  16. Trainee

    Trainee Well-Known Member

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    Not in terms of the joint executors. All executors would still have to sign all the papers together to create the trusts etc.

    Also more complicated tax rules such as distributing Australian shares with cg to non-resident beneficiaries, etc. If the will is written simply (each of my two kids gets half of everything) then the estate might end up with a tax bill that could have been deferred.
     
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  17. SatayKing

    SatayKing Well-Known Member

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    OK thanks. Makes sense.

    Seems like it could be better to have a primary executor only and provide for a backup of one or two in case the primary doesn't want to do it or cannot for a variety of reasons.
     
  18. Trainee

    Trainee Well-Known Member

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    Probably but non-lawyers often go with 'fair' without considering the consequences. Parents think it's 'fairer' to have all kids as joint executors (to treat the kids equally), and kids think they are missing out if they are not an executor. By the time the executors are arguing and digging up childhood slights and trying to call the other sibling across 15 time zones, all in a state of grief, it's just a little stressful.
     
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  19. balwoges

    balwoges Well-Known Member

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    My mother made me Executor of her Will leaving out my one and only sibling, but leaving sibling 50% - I asked her why and she explained her reasons which were valid. I felt bad as I knew sibling would be upset, but I cant tell sibling Mum's reasoning.
    It didn't improve my relationship with sibling as it was already tenuous ... :(
     
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  20. Ross Forrester

    Ross Forrester Well-Known Member

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    It can be a problem for SMSF’s without a binding death benefit nomination.
     

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