Parenting poll: child discipline

Sorry to hear that; 6 times a night is too much.

None of our 3 were good sleepers until they hit approx 3 years of age but nothing like that; maybe a couple or 3 times..

It sounds like something might be amiss there; possibly too hot - too many coverings of clothes and/or blankets?

We have found that our kids would wake up more frequently due to this.

 

Allowing kids to roam around until whenever they feel like going to bed borders on neglect I reckon; kids (especially younger ones starting in school) need 12 hours of sleep or even more.

The "cotton wool parent" is alive and well.

I'm not an advocate of slapping kids, but geez; now and again they really test your patience.

Our formula is they get 2 warnings, with a promise on the 2nd one to get a slap if we have to say/ask it again.

But; you have to followthrough on that promise, otherwise they will very quickly learn you are all talk and no action, and ignore you. That is hard to do, but it works and minimises the grief.

We try to round up our kids (3 and 5 year old) at 7.00pm....teeth, into bed, a storybook, a few songs, then lights out.

But of course; it is never smooth. I voted in the 2-4 times section.

We find that they stall for time, and/or get distracted and pick up another toy etc most nights. Hard work.

The end result is a good job done if you can wind it up by 7.45

 

Ever tried tresillian? We have been, but for breast feeding issues. We had some friends go for their 3yr old sleeping issues. It worked a treat for them.

 

My first newborn slept 6-8 hours overnight. The second was up every 2-3 hours and that was a real shock to the system.

As mine are much older now and they naturally wake up around 6.00-30am each morning, we ensure that they have regular sleep times at night during the school term and they are better for it.

On those occasions where they miss their normal times they can be feral the next day.

 

7:30 seems very early to send kids to bed, l thought that before I had kids but kept my mouth shut. Tonight we were still in the pool then, dinner at 8, just now finished playing dominos at 11pm with my 5 year old. He wakes up at 8 so still gets 9 hours. Didn't sleep through the night until after 3 years though.

 

3 year old 7pm
6 year old 7:30pm
9 year old 8:30pm

All pretty much go to bed as asked. Sometimes there's a protest but we don't accept it. If they are being disrespectful then it no doubt happens through the day as well, not just at bed time.

Being a parent can hard work.

 

I don't have kids, but I was a kid, and I know lots of people with them. It comes down to parenting style. I think I can make a fairly objective observation. Unlike you, I don't bring my parenting style to the observation (not insulting you BTW).

You're girlfriend is what I call a screamer, or a bogan mother. My sister's one. Just repeat, repeat and then shout till the child complies. I cringe when I see it, but it works for her.

My mum was a negotiator. "If you want to stay up an extra 30 mins tonight then you are going to have to go to bed 30 mins earlier tomorrow. Go and brush your teeth in the next commercial break" - that sort of thing. It worked for her.

My dad was the military. "That washing up has to be done by 8.30, or there will be consequences" - and there were consequences. It worked for him.

Have you considered that the kids may have a behavioural disorder like ADHD?

 

nah, definitely not adhd,

'bogan mother' ??? ive never heard that before

anyway, I am strict, I don't think negotiating is a good thing, you are a parent, and know better (especially with kids that age) you tell them what to do, not what they want to, not negotiable. that's what I have issue with so many parents these days, I think kids need discipline and structure.,


if they want to negotiate or debate, join the debating team.

I have adult friends who weren't spoilt but parents had absolutely no discipline. they have grown up to be decent and nice human beings but pretty much all are one of or all of lazy, undisciplined, and have problems such as wont eat vegetables etc.

as for the ' I don't want to inhibit my kids creativity' excuse that many ******** parents use an excuse for bad behaved kids, if they want to learn the skills of negotiation, then fair enough, they can suggest that to me, but ultimately, from a certain age, as negotiation skills are a great skill to learn but I feel it undermines my authority and their respect for any authority

my two cents inc gst

 

That's because I just made it up.

""if they want to negotiate or debate, join the debating team.""
At those kids ages probably not negotiating is reasonable. A little bit older yes. It shows them that everything is up for discussion. I wonder how many parents have the time or energy to think about how best to raise their kids?

 

What would you like to know?

 

2.5 year old, in bed by 9pm
3 month old sleeps a lot during the day, long sleep starts around 8pm.

Our families biggest struggle with sleep currently is that the 2.5 year old has been sleeping in our bed all this winter. The 2.5 year old would wake up several times if he is in his own room and cry. Since we had a newborn at the start of Winter, my wife had to wake up a lot already to feed the baby, so it was impossible to also deal with a 2.5 year old waking up. He sleeps well in our bed, but now its time for him to go back to his room at night, and he doesnt want to.

 

That sort of leaves the question wide open,just wait till they start going out and it's the other way around you end up waiting up all night thinking when are the coming home and if they are safe,never had a problem when they were all younger but that was maybe more of a responsibility every night 8 was the time to go to bed,but that depended on homework and sometimes was hard to navigate
then mobile phones the internet came into the picture and things changed again..

 

Beware the strong willed child

Apparently, you get the children you deserve

 

Buy a bigger bed? When you actually start talking to people many many co-sleep some or all if the night. Lots of my friends have either bought a bigger bed or put their child's mattress/ bed in the main bedroom. Another option is to have kids sleep together. We are one of a few cultures around the world who insist on putting a tiny person in their own bed at the other end of the house, it's not surprising they wake up & cry, it's scary, they'd much rather be with their family who make them feel safe & secure. I'm sure this will incite some outrage, but flame away, you will never convince me making children feel safe enough to sleep more soundly is a negative thing.

 

As for discipline, I guess you would label me a negotiator. Kids are people too you know, not just living being to be bossed around at your will. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I yell, but really it's not very effective in the grand scheme of things. It's a much happier house if I say something like ' ready for bed at the end of that show'. Then he'll turn off the telly, loo, teeth, book, snuggle, sleep. If I turn off in the middle of something yeah, he'll be ****** & fair enough. If the show will go too long we'll negotiate till the end of the ad or scene. He's 4, works for us

 

It all depends on your family circumstances. My kids are up at 7am, out the door by 7.45am. A 7.30pm bedtime is necessary for them to wind down (reading, colouring etc) to be asleep by a reasonable hour to ensure they get the sleep they need.

As for the OP - I think letting kids watch screens right up to the expected bedtime is a recipe for disaster - reading time/quiet time is needed for them to wind down first. I even turn down all the lights around 7pm start the 'winding down' process. That said, I have 2 who go to bed easily and 1 who persists on coming out to tell me "I can't get to sleep..." expecting me to do something about it...Um, go to bed, close your eyes and wait until morning.