Mindset!!

Discussion in 'Investor Psychology & Mindset' started by Bran, 25th Nov, 2015.

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  1. Bran

    Bran Well-Known Member

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    My sister posted this on Facebook this morning.

    "Kinda sux when you get to the age where you realise you won't achieve your biggest dream no matter what you do."

    I am exceptionally saddened by this.

    She is 30 and healthy.
     
    Bran, 25th Nov, 2015
    #1
  2. Jamie Moore

    Jamie Moore MORTGAGE BROKER - AUSTRALIA WIDE Business Member

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    What was her dream - Olympic gymnast? 30 is very young!
     
    Jamie Moore, 25th Nov, 2015
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  3. willair

    willair Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    At least she has those 2 items to be happy about,a lot of people that age don't even have what she already has,and mabye start to become a good listener,or as i have told my daughters many times who all are on the facebook,why? do you want everyone to know your business..
     
    willair, 25th Nov, 2015
    #3
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  4. DaveM

    DaveM Well-Known Member

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    For many in this world (and even Australia) their biggest dream is having food on the table to feed their kids, and often having clean water to drink. Some people need a reality check
     
    DaveM, 25th Nov, 2015
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  5. Steven Ryan

    Steven Ryan Well-Known Member

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    I hope for her sake her biggest dream was to achieve something "before 30" which she has missed and would require a time machine to accomplish now.
     
    Steven Ryan, 25th Nov, 2015
    #5
  6. wylie

    wylie Moderator Staff Member

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    What was her biggest dream? Maybe she is just having a down day and feeling a bit flat? Is she normally the sort to post such a "trigger" statement, ie triggering friends to ask more (or did she state what she meant and you've not mentioned that here?)
     
    wylie, 25th Nov, 2015
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  7. Bran

    Bran Well-Known Member

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    She has a lot to be positive for, and comparing her to what others have isn't fair - it's all relative, and we are allowed to suffer first world problems when we are lucky enough to live in the first world.

    Healthy, beautiful kids.
    She lives in a new house 100m from the beach near Kingscliffe
    She has an investment property in Brisbane (this is really because they can't afford to realise their capital loss, but still...)

    I sent a tirade of positive posts and links. And this was her response:

    "I'm not giving up I'm just being realistic!!! When you don't have the talent to achieve your dream ( and I don't trust me) you just have to reevaluate and pick something that's achievable!!"

    This all comes down to self-confidence, and has been a life-long battle for her.
     
    Bran, 25th Nov, 2015
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  8. Bran

    Bran Well-Known Member

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    She won't tell me (she's always been threatened/felt inferior with me as a perceived overachiever), but told my wife - she wants to be a child psychologist. But her dreams seem to change, she needs a bigger picture and to know WHY
     
    Bran, 25th Nov, 2015
    #8
  9. Xenia

    Xenia Well-Known Member

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    Kinda sux when this is the reality you are creating.
     
    Xenia, 25th Nov, 2015
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  10. Bran

    Bran Well-Known Member

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    She had a lot of bad stuff happen to her that I didn't, but she's never gotten out of it and just keeps running away, physically looking for happiness.
     
    Bran, 25th Nov, 2015
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  11. wylie

    wylie Moderator Staff Member

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    Do you know what her dream is? And why it is unachievable?

    I know someone whose dream of flying is unachievable due to colour blindness (or similar physical problem he cannot change). But perhaps her dream is on hold due to little children meaning she is too busy "now".

    Edit - was typing this when you were giving more detail.
     
    wylie, 25th Nov, 2015
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  12. Bayview

    Bayview Well-Known Member

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    Sorry Dave, but in all my 54 years breathing air, and all the thousands of people I have met over that time - in Australia; I have never, ever heard anyone actually say that.

    Of course; I haven't mixed with many homeless folks who might actually be so far below this level that to have it would be an improvement.

    But, the rest of us; all assume food, shelter as a given - and their dreams are more than this.

    I have heard a few say that they would like the picket fence, the house and dog, and back yard for the kids.
     
    Last edited: 25th Nov, 2015
    Bayview, 25th Nov, 2015
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  13. wylie

    wylie Moderator Staff Member

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    I'm not sure what "bad stuff" means but you say she is running away from it. Has she ever had counselling to help her deal with the baggage she is carrying around? People can have similar early experience and deal with it differently... let it colour their life or brush it off. Does she recognize she has not dealt with these things (clearly you do).
     
    wylie, 25th Nov, 2015
    #13
  14. Marg4000

    Marg4000 Well-Known Member

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    It all depends on what her dream was.

    If it was "pie in the sky" and never going to happen, then maybe being realistic and accepting that fact is not such a bad thing.

    You only have to look at the results of some older people chasing a long gone youth and the plastic surgery gone wrong photos to see that some dreams are simply unrealistic and unachievable.
    Marg.
     
    Marg4000, 25th Nov, 2015
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  15. wylie

    wylie Moderator Staff Member

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    As Marg says "pie in the sky" isn't going to happen but child psychology can be studied now or soon (depends on time available to study - one subject at a time maybe). But maybe that isn't what really is troubling her?
     
    wylie, 25th Nov, 2015
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  16. Bran

    Bran Well-Known Member

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    Bingo.
     
    Bran, 25th Nov, 2015
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  17. Patamea

    Patamea Well-Known Member

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    I know a 38 yr old who only recently completed her clinical neuropsychology registration, currently pregnant with 3rd child! It may take her a while, but your sister can and will get there if she wants it!
     
    Patamea, 25th Nov, 2015
    #17
  18. wylie

    wylie Moderator Staff Member

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    Meaning studying (or being unable to study) isn't the real problem?
     
    wylie, 25th Nov, 2015
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  19. Bran

    Bran Well-Known Member

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    Do you think this person might be amenable to some form of contact, if only to recount her story as someone who has done it?
     
    Last edited: 25th Nov, 2015
    Bran, 25th Nov, 2015
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  20. EN710

    EN710 Well-Known Member

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    @Bran is it really a very-hard-to-achieve dream or is it because she thinks there are too many "can'ts"
    Can't do x because I have kids
    Can't do y because I need to do z for family
    Can't do a because I don't have talent
    Can't do b because I have no time
    Can't do what I want to do because now I have stuff to take care of

    The later are usually excuses, mostly.
     
    EN710, 25th Nov, 2015
    #20
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