Marriage Seperation Question

Discussion in 'Legal Issues' started by Sheshop, 20th Aug, 2020.

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  1. Sheshop

    Sheshop Well-Known Member

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    I'm hoping someone here might be able to help me in order for me to help my friend... She is separating from her husband and he has offered her $100,000 cash to sign over the home and then another $75,000 within 3 years or when he sells the home whichever happens first. She is emotionally exhausted and is willing to take this offer despite the possibility of receiving a fair bit more if she were to go down the legal route but she just wants a clean break and walk away peacefully (they have 3 young kids). My worry is, what if he sells the home and doesn't pay her? Is there a way that she can place a caveat or something similar on the home to secure this agreement because otherwise what's stopping him never giving her that additional $75,000?
     
  2. Scott No Mates

    Scott No Mates Well-Known Member

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    She will possibly be entitled to receive a lot more than what's on offer (WFG).

    No mention of any maintenance/support for kids, super, other assets, access to kids etc.
     
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  3. spoon

    spoon Well-Known Member

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    The cleanest break, if doesn't involve any more animosity, would be to sell the property and get 50% of the proceeds.
     
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  4. larrylarry

    larrylarry Well-Known Member

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    Less messy and risk of things going wrong. But that's just me.
     
  5. Terry_w

    Terry_w Lawyer, Tax Adviser and Mortgage broker in Sydney Business Member

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    She would essentially be lending him the money so she should probably have a written loan agreement secured by a mortgage.

    But she should see a family lawyer first
     
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  6. Sheshop

    Sheshop Well-Known Member

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    Yes, I agree. Unfortunately it's pretty hostile in the sense that the separation is due to drugs, gambling and abuse so she is not wanting to rock the boat and just get out as calmly as possible. It's his way or the highway and he has had his solicitor draw up this agreement and any talk of her getting her own solicitor or selling the home etc is met with rage. I'm just trying to help her keep the peace but also wondering if there is a way to accept his offer but with some guarantee that he will stick to the agreement. No formal custody agreement has been made, he currently sees the kids whenever he wants (it's all very recent). In the offer he has said he will pay $3000 month child support and he will let her live in the home for 12 months for $400 a week rent. He earns over $300k a year but works in oil mining in Brunei so I'm not sure how that works from a child support point of view?
     
  7. Terry_w

    Terry_w Lawyer, Tax Adviser and Mortgage broker in Sydney Business Member

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    Have a look at the latest 'dirty john' series on Netflix about Betty. Her husband agrees to pay her $xx per month and then 'fines' her for breaches of his rules so she ends up owing him money.

    If she doesn't want to take proper advice I would advise you to walk away rather than get involved
     
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  8. Sheshop

    Sheshop Well-Known Member

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    Thanks Terry. Her sister paid for a solicitor to look over the agreement and they advised her to NOT sign it and to sell the home, get all bank account details etc to work out a true and fair agreement but as you can imagine this went down like lead balloon. Is there such thing as a caveat or hold on the property?
     
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  9. Sheshop

    Sheshop Well-Known Member

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    $3000 month child support
    No formal custody agreement but he's welcome to see the kids whenever he likes.
    She has no idea of how much money, super etc he has. He has always looked after the money and he works in Brunei so he transfers money into their australian account. They are currently back in Australia as they came on holiday and then Covid hit and they've been stuck here and he is working remotely until he can get permission to go back to Brunei.
     
  10. spoon

    spoon Well-Known Member

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    If what you describe is exactly what it is, then making things clean now, legally and financially, would be the best way forward.

    It will not be any easier in future if drugs, gambling and abuse have been involved. Anyway, maybe I have seen how these relationships unfolded and in hindsight how best they should have been dealt with.

    Imagine he decided to stay somewhere else in another country for the rest of his life and enjoy a new relationship...
     
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  11. Terry_w

    Terry_w Lawyer, Tax Adviser and Mortgage broker in Sydney Business Member

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    Either party could probably lodge a caveat but legal advice is needed on this
     
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  12. Sheshop

    Sheshop Well-Known Member

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    Imagine he decided to stay somewhere else in another country for the rest of his life and enjoy a new relationship...[/QUOTE]
    This would be ideal in my eyes but obviously not great for the kids.
     
  13. balwoges

    balwoges Well-Known Member

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    Your friend is setting up herself for a life of poverty not only for herself but her children if she signs those papers. Its imperative she seeks advice from a solicitor who specialises in Family Law. Sounds as if he is not particularly worried about his childrens welfare - a danger sign.
    If she is worried about her safety consult go to the local court and get a court order which will prevent him approaching her.
    Been there, feel for her ... :(
     
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  14. fl360

    fl360 Well-Known Member

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    if the wife's name is in the title, usually the family law firm is able to add a caveat in the title, so the family law firm will be in the settlement process to extract what is agreed. When they sell the house.

    the husband could have started another family overseas. just take the max she can, and move on.

    looks like the husband are happy to pay $100k to get the house, the chance of getting the $75,000 X 3 is uncertain.
     
  15. thatbum

    thatbum Well-Known Member

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    Honestly the solution is super simple - she needs to get her own family law advice. Any other discussion just seems like a waste of time to me. At the moment its assuming there's like two options for some reason - take his offer or not. It doesn't work like that.

    For example I imagine it would take me an hour or less to give a pretty good outline of her options and process moving forward.
     
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  16. balwoges

    balwoges Well-Known Member

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    I agree with you - it's my guess she is frightened of him and feels unable to stand up to him, she is badly in need of support ... a common occurrence in this situation.
     
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  17. thatbum

    thatbum Well-Known Member

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    Yes it sounds like it. It makes it even more important to get that legal advice.

    I'm familiar with the issues involved. If anything, one of my specialisations is in family violence matters.

    The best thing for any friends or family to help is to encourage and support her to get that legal advice. Any other speculation on the legal aspects of the matter is a waste of time.
     
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  18. Sheshop

    Sheshop Well-Known Member

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    Yes, she is terribly frightened and overwhelmed. Her sister and I are desperately trying to convince her to accept legal advice. Her sister paid for a solicitor to look over the offer and have a phone consult ($450). My friend then told the ex that she's spoken with a solicitor and he went off (even though he has consulted his own). He threatened to come take the car off her and have the locks changed on the house. So of course she goes back to giving in and contemplating accepting his offer.
    I've offered to pay her bond to move into her own place so he doesn't have control and to then allow them to sell the house. She's very scared that will send him over the edge. She has no money, she has applied for centrelink. Its a sad situation and I feel helpless for her. Thank you all for the advice, I have passed it on to her and am trying to softly steer her in the right direction.
     
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  19. hammer

    hammer Well-Known Member

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    If gambling is involved then you can forget about any future promises of payment.

    This is exactly what legal aid is for. Call them up. Pronto.
     
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  20. thatbum

    thatbum Well-Known Member

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    Frankly it sounds like potentially enough grounds for a restraining order of some sort already.

    She should get in contact with a family violence legal service asap. Legal aid would also be an option. Most community legal centres would also have a family violence solicitor that could also assist.

    Find Legal Help | Community Legal Centres Australia
     
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