I'm not here to vent - or have any problems solved - but rather to "put it out there" and see if there are others in the same situation ... in a space where I know none of those with a vested interest will see. Bit like talking to a psychiatrist. Lately I feel like I'm marking time - and can see it continuing for the next two years ... hubby is two years off superfund retirement, so we're getting everything set up to be financially secure for when he wants to tell work to go "jam" itself. Currently asset rich but most is tied up in the SMSF or the farm so don't have a lot of cash to flash for another 2 years as everything is going into debt reduction. Daughter is entering year 11 next year - HSC - yay (not), so we can't do a lot of extensive travelling or house building or anything major like moving to a new country for the next two years there either. So I just feel like I'm stuck waiting for the next two years to pass. Not helped by hubby being home with man-flu and daughter having an emotional meltdown and throwing in her part time job yesterday at short notice (that she wanted and I got for her by pulling in a favour with a friend - so embarrassed). Yes - I am keeping busy. Finishing the house, landscaping the acre around the house, doing a TAFE course, growing garlic and still on the board of a national organisation, dabbling in real estate, lunching with wonderful girlfriends ... but ... feel very much like I'm going through the motions
Take a short break. Go to somewhere like vietnam, cambodia, thailand, philippines for a week. It will give you a clearer perspective when you see the simple lives many lead and yet how happy they are. Sounds to me like you are too busy and forgot to simply sit back relax and absorb the energy of the universe we live in. The fact you say you are doing all these things makes me wonder if you feel you have to prove to people you are doing all this "stuff" You should be able to say. Ive spent 3 months walking down new roads, found some new places to rest and enjoy nature and even seen some new wildlife and its the exactly same. Sounds like you are in the trap i was in many years ago trying to prove to everyone how busy i was. Noone cared. Noone does. Once i realised that and simply learned to chill on my own life became a whole lot more wonderful
It was more to point out that I wasn't simply sitting in front of the trash tv - but I am also very good at procrastinating. I do like to sit in the sun and read a good book - or we drag some comfy chairs out to watch the stars at night (they're pretty awesome out in the countryside). Think I might go to the movies - The Breaker Upperers looks pretty good
Awesome. Thats the main thing. Doing what you like. Even if it is trash tv it doesnt matter. What others think of us is truly irrelevant.
@Lizzie you are not alone.... Don't let the doom and gloom get to you! Yours and many other people's problem (in this amazing country of ours) is that we have EVERYTHING lioving perfect lives, but it is not enough... that's human nature for you. I've seen people in other parts of the world with nothing and be happier than us! My advice to you is to find something that REALLY inspires you, then set a personal goal about it! That's what I did and - I give you my word - it has given me a new lease on life!!!
I understand what you are saying. We've been marking time for two years waiting to get started on our development. Now we've started and time is flying past. Now I'm wishing I had a bit more of that spare time I had too much of a few months ago.
I observe and can associate with a similar thing. I almost feel like we are all marking time until we step off the planet. What is the point of any of it really, life in general...I'm not talking about being suicidal or not wanting to live, just what is the point of human existence? I really don't think there is any point...it is upto each of us to add meaning to it and what we do/don't do. I think it is perhaps to find peace of mind. Most people find it really really difficult to do nothing, in the Western world we tend to have this underlying feeling that we need to be constantly growing, always reading, achieving goals, working, busy busy busy you know. We don't like to be bored. It's almost like never being at peace or rest. Given you feel a little trapped for the next 2 yrs, maybe use it as an opportunity to rest/reflect and give appreciation for it before launching into the next phase of life. Embrace the journey of the next 2 yrs rather than being fixed on the destination of what you can do after the 2 yrs. I like this quote from the Dalai Lama when asked what surprised him most about humanity. "Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived."
I do know where you are coming from and I have felt like I was marking time in the past. I had a job that I hated but it was only for a limited time. I felt like I was marking time until it was over. Then it got extended for a year and then another year! I was so miserable. I really was going through the motions. I have read there is no such thing as a miserable job but that job misery is universal. The three signs of job misery are: - Anonymity: where you feel like your boss and co-workers have no interest in you - Irrelevance: where you can't see how what you does makes any difference - Immeasurement: when you can't assess your own contribution or success I feel these are very relevant to me. If I put in effort but it makes no difference, then what is the point of what I am doing. If what I am doing is pointless then it doesn't make me happy or give me satisfaction.
I love this graphic: It doesn't touch on other work culture factors like having great co-workers or a caring manager or having independence or recognition at work. But at least if you can get something that ticks all the above, work should be enjoyable. And for everybody... I like this man's view of life at age 43. Humans of New York
Yes and sometimes when there’s no marking I created events to mark the time to staff off boredom. If there’s something I noticed, the preparation you do to get to the marked time and the expectation feel more interesting. When I arrive on the marked time it’s exciting for a day, then it went “is that it?”
The destination is just an excuse to have the journey. Sometimes it shucks as part of me thought if I just there now I'll be good and happy. Then when I get there the destination has changed.
I have a friend who is currently in Canada and previously was in a pretty good paying job. She is based in a small town and really enjoys the close knit friends circle, even though she is on a low paying job (2 jobs) to make ends meet. I think she appreciates being away from the busy Sydney life and getting to really appreciate the hikes.
I think part of it is: - House nearly finished - only yuck jobs like filling nail holes in skirting to go so procrastinating like buggery, knowing that it would take only 4-5 days if I got stuck in - TAFE course is not nearly as dynamic and interesting as I thought it would be but paid my money so will plough through (just finished four whole modules of WH&S blergh! and now onto writing briefs double blergh!!) - Waiting for landscaper to finish hardscaping so can start planting (his team turns up a day here and a day there between other jobs!) - No money for plants - Saving money to book airfares for nieces pre-Christmas wedding - Dealing with teenage meltdowns about once a week - Hubby home moaning and groaning and swears he's near death's door with manflu ... and a zillion other little irritating things ... like it's really windy... I don't like wind
What kind of meltdown? Is this the kind that better to be left alone? To be fair, teenagers brain changes around this age so you might only need to deal with it for several more months... or years Ohh, would love to see the plan for the garden Uh... welcome to Melbourne Maybe it's the right time for you to procrastinate. If you don't like doing them right now, don't do them yet. Laze around, play with Spotty man and Bindie
It's an insecurity thing - the ole voices in the head telling "not good enough" competing with the "you are awesome" - we've all had them as teens ... but the meltdown usually happens the night before she's supposed to work, which I normally work thru, she goes to work and loves it ... but this week she cancelled her shift with only a few hours notice, which is totally not fair on the small cafe owner and - seeings as I got her the job by pulling in a friendship favour - I was not happy (but didn't let on) She'll get past it - and is seeing a psychologist as required - absolutely no pressure is being put on regarding HSC or life after school - being very laid back whilst giving encouragement and gentle direction Seems to have been easier in my teen days - wailing to the dog that no one loves me - then continuing through life like a battering ram
