Entertainment & Music Joke Thread

Discussion in 'Living Room' started by HD_ACE, 18th Jun, 2015.

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  1. Dan Donoghue

    Dan Donoghue Well-Known Member

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    A man went to the dr complaining of shortness of breath.

    The dr asked if he smoked.

    To this the man replied "Only after sex".

    The dr told him to slow down and use some lube.
     
  2. Dan Donoghue

    Dan Donoghue Well-Known Member

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    What do you get when you put your hands down the pants of an 80 year old?




    Depends






    [​IMG]
     
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  3. willair

    willair Well-Known Member Premium Member

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  4. Azazel

    Azazel Well-Known Member

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    I bought my sneakers from a drug dealer.
    Dunno what he laced them with...
    ...but I've been tripping all day.
     
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  5. Bran

    Bran Well-Known Member

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    Took me a few reads.
     
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  6. Gockie

    Gockie Unicycle anywhere and everywhere... Premium Member

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    Joke seen from a facebook link.

    But my own punchline? 500k can only buy you a house in the cheapest Sydney suburbs....

    (And... shouldn't the lady now be 73? Or did she lose some years? Or did he find a "younger woman" to sleep with....)
    Screenshot_2016-04-22-18-08-18.png
     
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  7. Azazel

    Azazel Well-Known Member

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    How did the fairy get pregnant?
    She sat on a Toadstool.
     
  8. Gockie

    Gockie Unicycle anywhere and everywhere... Premium Member

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    Ok. I dont get it.:confused:
     
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  9. Azazel

    Azazel Well-Known Member

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    Toads-tool.
     
  10. Gockie

    Gockie Unicycle anywhere and everywhere... Premium Member

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    Ta Azazel. Sorry but I think it was a bit.... l.a.m.e
     
  11. Azazel

    Azazel Well-Known Member

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    Maybe you should go over to the "Only jokes that Gockie gets" thread.
     
  12. Gockie

    Gockie Unicycle anywhere and everywhere... Premium Member

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    :)
    That's a good name for the area.
    Screenshot_2016-05-04-08-31-44.png
     
  13. bdydrp

    bdydrp Well-Known Member

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    What did the doctor say to princess Diana when she arrived at hospital?






    Wipe that merc of your face!
     
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  14. Azazel

    Azazel Well-Known Member

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    Tsk tsk, still too soon.
     
  15. Gockie

    Gockie Unicycle anywhere and everywhere... Premium Member

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    So sad... and it was almost 20 years ago...
     
  16. geoffw

    geoffw Moderator Staff Member

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    Whats the difference between Diana and Elton John?
    Di never became queen of England.


    What does she have in common with Pink Floyd?
    Their last big hit was The Wall.
     
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  17. bdydrp

    bdydrp Well-Known Member

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    No such thing as too soon!!



    What does Steve Irwin and Peter Brock have in common?




    They both cant handle fish tails!
     
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  18. Azazel

    Azazel Well-Known Member

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    Hyock hyock.
     
  19. geoffw

    geoffw Moderator Staff Member

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  20. geoffw

    geoffw Moderator Staff Member

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