Entertainment & Music Joke Thread

Discussion in 'Living Room' started by HD_ACE, 18th Jun, 2015.

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  1. Dan Donoghue

    Dan Donoghue Well-Known Member

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    A man went to the dr complaining of shortness of breath.

    The dr asked if he smoked.

    To this the man replied "Only after sex".

    The dr told him to slow down and use some lube.
     
    Dan Donoghue, 30th Mar, 2016
    #61
  2. Dan Donoghue

    Dan Donoghue Well-Known Member

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    What do you get when you put your hands down the pants of an 80 year old?




    Depends






    [​IMG]
     
    Dan Donoghue, 30th Mar, 2016
    #62
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  3. willair

    willair Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    ....UKI nth nsw ....
    [​IMG]
     
    willair, 30th Mar, 2016
    #63
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  4. Azazel

    Azazel Well-Known Member

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    I bought my sneakers from a drug dealer.
    Dunno what he laced them with...
    ...but I've been tripping all day.
     
    Azazel, 30th Mar, 2016
    #64
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  5. Bran

    Bran Well-Known Member

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    Took me a few reads.
     
    Bran, 30th Mar, 2016
    #65
    Dan Donoghue likes this.
  6. Gockie

    Gockie Life is good ☺️ Premium Member

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    Joke seen from a facebook link.

    But my own punchline? 500k can only buy you a house in the cheapest Sydney suburbs....

    (And... shouldn't the lady now be 73? Or did she lose some years? Or did he find a "younger woman" to sleep with....)
    Screenshot_2016-04-22-18-08-18.png
     
    Gockie, 22nd Apr, 2016
    #66
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  7. Azazel

    Azazel Well-Known Member

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    How did the fairy get pregnant?
    She sat on a Toadstool.
     
    Azazel, 22nd Apr, 2016
    #67
  8. Gockie

    Gockie Life is good ☺️ Premium Member

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    Ok. I dont get it.:confused:
     
    Gockie, 22nd Apr, 2016
    #68
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  9. Azazel

    Azazel Well-Known Member

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    Toads-tool.
     
    Azazel, 22nd Apr, 2016
    #69
  10. Gockie

    Gockie Life is good ☺️ Premium Member

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    Ta Azazel. Sorry but I think it was a bit.... l.a.m.e
     
    Gockie, 22nd Apr, 2016
    #70
  11. Azazel

    Azazel Well-Known Member

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    Maybe you should go over to the "Only jokes that Gockie gets" thread.
     
    Azazel, 23rd Apr, 2016
    #71
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  12. Gockie

    Gockie Life is good ☺️ Premium Member

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    :)
    That's a good name for the area.
    Screenshot_2016-05-04-08-31-44.png
     
    Gockie, 4th May, 2016
    #72
  13. bdydrp

    bdydrp Well-Known Member

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    What did the doctor say to princess Diana when she arrived at hospital?






    Wipe that merc of your face!
     
    bdydrp, 4th May, 2016
    #73
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  14. Azazel

    Azazel Well-Known Member

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    Tsk tsk, still too soon.
     
    Azazel, 4th May, 2016
    #74
  15. Gockie

    Gockie Life is good ☺️ Premium Member

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    So sad... and it was almost 20 years ago...
     
    Gockie, 4th May, 2016
    #75
  16. geoffw

    geoffw Moderator Staff Member

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    Whats the difference between Diana and Elton John?
    Di never became queen of England.


    What does she have in common with Pink Floyd?
    Their last big hit was The Wall.
     
    geoffw, 4th May, 2016
    #76
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  17. bdydrp

    bdydrp Well-Known Member

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    No such thing as too soon!!



    What does Steve Irwin and Peter Brock have in common?




    They both cant handle fish tails!
     
    bdydrp, 4th May, 2016
    #77
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  18. Azazel

    Azazel Well-Known Member

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    Hyock hyock.
     
    Azazel, 4th May, 2016
    #78
  19. geoffw

    geoffw Moderator Staff Member

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    Spanish.jpg
     
    geoffw, 14th May, 2016
    #79
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  20. geoffw

    geoffw Moderator Staff Member

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    image.jpeg
     
    geoffw, 17th May, 2016
    #80
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