Entertainment & Music Joke Thread

I have difficulties with the word. I remember there were sharp, right and stupid angles. Then was taught about bend over backward angles. So hard is the subject of geometry.

 

I wonder if I will get one:

 

Do you mean I have to wait?

 

Unless you are a grandpa AND a bad influence, you do not qualify .

 

I thought "Grand" meant "Good at it", not "Old & Wise".

 

In this context, Grand means good at being a bad influence .

... and BTW, drop the OLD bit ; WISE is acceptable .

 

@kierank - double like, agreed.

 

Little Johnny meets Clive Palmer

Clive Palmer was visiting a primary school in Perth and visited a grade four class. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.
The teacher asked Mr Palmer if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy.' So Mr Palmer asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy'.
One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs him over and kills him, that would be a tragedy."
"No," said Clive , "that would be an accident."
A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explained Palmer . "That's what we would call great loss."
The room went silent. No other child volunteered. Clive searched the room.
"Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher held her breath.
In a quiet voice he said: "If the plane carrying you was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy."
"Fantastic!" exclaimed Clive , "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"
"Well," says Johnny, "It has to be a tragedy, because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss ... and you can bet it wouldn't be an accident either!"
The teacher left the room

 

Jebus, I'm about to explode. 37 rounds to 35. 38 rounds to 40.
If that meme is factual, I'm afraid we must kill that dog.

 

And, rounding to nearest 10....

 

Start of Dad Jokes for Fathers Day:

Boy: Hey Mum, an actress named Reese just killed herself.
Mum: Witherspoon?
Boy: No, with a knife!

 

Here is the video


And her dad's face says "I'm so proud of you, my child. Come here."

 

A man pulls up in his driveway and notices the number 3 on the garage door.

He says to himself "that's odd".

 

An ideal joke for this Sunday .