Health & Family IVF

Please excuse the overshare.

My partner and I are both 44. We have a 4 year old daughter. Since her birth we have been trying for a sibling. We've been pregnant 3 times but none have "stuck". We are now going through an IVF course as a last resort before there are no more eggs to give our unborn the best shot we can. We are up to her about to start the injections.

Would anyone care to share their stories or offer some insight, good or bad, as to what we can expect?

 

I personally haven't gone thru IVF, but watched both my sister in law and a close friend do so due to issues - I wish you all the luck and it is a roller coaster to both hormones, hopes and (hopefully not) despair ... hang in there and love to both you and your soon-to-be baby

 

In the same boat, me and the wife have to do IVF one day too because we have about .00000001% chance of falling pregnant naturally. No massive rush for us though because we are both still pretty young.

Sucks.

At least you got one child already though.

 

With those odds, sounds like grounds for a whole lotta practice.

 

Start early and get a good referral.

 

Yeah fun road ahead

 

It's a hell of a ride, the only people who do it are the ones so desperate they just have too. We did only 3 cycles over 2 years, can't image how some do so many more.

But, keep control of your hopes. If a cycle fails the let down is huge. Good luck !

 

Novices. At least the science is constantly improving and success rates increasing.

When it takes a long time it is character building but pocket depleting.

Medicare and health fund covers very little of the costs.

 

I have always found the concept of paying huge amounts of money to conceive bizarre... especially when there are so many orphans in the world. I think I once read there are approx 700 million orphans in the world...

Just my thoughts... Context: I don't have the vaguest inclination to reproduce...

Plus.. I have always thought on a global scale =P

 

My first was an IVF baby. It's a pretty intense but short exercise per cycle. The first set of drugs puts you in a menopausal state - so you get hot flushes, hormones jumping all over the place. The steroids pumping through are a benefit if she's into sport. I hit my driver 40m further off the tee when I was cycling.

I was at a clinic where I would have ultrasounds and blood tests every few days until my eggs were ready to harvest but a lot of clinics don't do that these days. Two days after the go ahead that the eggs are a good size you inject yourself with the booster. Her belly will swell like she's swallowed a watermelon.

The harvest is a little painful but very cool to watch them count the eggs collected. The part I found the most stressful was between fertilization and implantation, getting the phone calls from the clinic to advise how many fertilized eggs are still looking viable.

At transfer day you get to see the embryo before its transferred. Then you just get up off the bed after a short rest and try to live life as normal until blood test day.

All I can say is have no expectations and just ride the roller coaster. Sounds insensitive but I only thought of the embryos as cells. I've heard of others who named each one and classes themselves as "pregnant until proven otherwise" at each transfer. I needed to feel clinical about it as the crash of an unsuccessful cycle is bad enough as the hormones slowly get out of your system let alone forming very early attachments.

I did 3 cycles, a fresh cycle and two frozens.

PM me if you have any questions and all the best.

 

Good luck, hooper it goes well

The Mrs is a midwife, so I have self certified myself qualified
Don't really know the whole ivf process but like anything research and understand as much as you can, and don't be afraid to question the experts!! Question everything. They all have different styles and practices. Like anything in life there's more than one way to skin a cat!

With the lead up to the day the robot gets funky, go on a holiday and relax! You both need to be fit, healthy and in a positive state!
Check out hypnobirthing, it's the next stage but it's all about the mindset and visualising what's going to happen (bit of an out there name I think, it's basically mindset practise)

Have you looked into doulas or support persons? I don't agree so muchwith then as your the number 1 support person but they may have some positive input in your circumstance

 

If the Australian government encouraged overseas adoption then I'm sure a lot of people wouldn't go down the IVF path. But that is another whole argument...

 

Its easier to adopt overseas children than aussie ones! The paper work is a nightmare

 

We did 15 cycles over about 4 years, the last few were using donor eggs. Only 2 pregnancies which both ended in miscarriage. We moved on a long time ago from this.

I did write a fairly extensive post on the old Somersoft forum, but I can't find it anymore. If someone knows where it is they're welcome to post a link.

Going through multiple cycles with repeat failures will either bring you closer together or tear you apart. The waiting, drugs and mood swings for her, more waiting, hope, disappointment, preparing to start again. This is all nothing compared to finding yourself in the middle of the night in a hospital trying to support your wife who's going through a miscarriage.

It's had a profound effect on our lives and our relationship. Whilst we have been very unlucky in trying to find success, we're incredibly luck that we had each other.

Be there for each other. Be understanding of each other. All the best.

 

This is true.
The rules and regulations re adoption from overseas can take years, full of expensive Lawyers etc. Much cheaper amd quicker to go down the IVF path.

 

340 adoptions per year in Australia.

You have a very small chance of adopting a kid in Australia because there just aren't many kids up for adoption.

 

Peter your post has just brought all the emotional stuff back. What a supportive and loving husband you are and were during that time of your lives.

 

We are starting next month :\ if I disappear for a couple of decades its probably worked and I'm broke good luck

 

Are they hoping to do genetic testing on the embryos to rule out a known issue with the previous miscarriages?
I hope it goes well. The hormones x 100202030304050 are hard enough to deal with but along with all the extra hope and desire and fears it's a massive roller coaster. Do the compulsory counselling and do some extra if you can - you need to be on the same page for this and have your coping strategies in place.

Good luck! I hope you only need one cycle and a super sticky embie.

 

How many are in foster care, or awaiting placement?

The government should be helping loving, caring families that want to raise children, not people that can't even look after themselves