Is it too Late?

And, what if in order to build a couple million net worth, you will have to not give away any money, while you will be wealthier than your family? Are you ok with the fact that you either have to hide your wealth, or your family will resent you for not sharing? Even tho they will just spend what you give them and ask for more because you have it?

would you be comfortable being the worst dressed person but knowing that you are wealthy? Especially amongst friends and family? Do you drink single malt because you like the taste, or it makes you feel like James Bond?

your view of money is that money is image. You associate your self worth with the image, not the actual wealth. Imho thats still there, and will affect how you invest.

not that i agree completely with it, but read the millionaire next door.

 

We don't have children and we won't have children. So I just want enough money to support my choice of lifestyle till my partner and myself are alive. After we are gone everything will be passed on to the charities we believe in.
My immediate family (parents, siblings) are doing great financially. I want to give money to cousins, distant relatives etc. I have been doing so from quite sometime. I feel after a certain point money is virtual, English is not my first language so at times I am not able to express myself. What I mean is that after certain level I won't care if I can earn couple of mils more if I don't give away the money. I will still give it away.

Like I said, I am still struggling and trying to learn and agree to the part that this will affect my investment decisions. Do you have suggestion on how can I work on it? To curtail it?

 

Read. Think. Refine.
Though to be honest if you are a fairly high income couple with no kids? Max the ppor. Save some into etfs, and youll probably be fine anyway.

 

hi mate

quick life lesson here. no one cares about your problems/past except for you.

the important thing is to focus on what you want and not your past. just because your past is messed up doesnt mean your future will be to.

stay focused on the right things and man up and take what you want nothing is given.

i know people with 40k year income with 3-4 properties and i know people on 150k year with nothing.

good luck

 

Maybe you should have come over much sooner. In my days as a kid, no body give a damn about how we dressed or look. I don't even wear any shoes when go to the shopping centre and many still don't. Our tradies neighbours drove cars looks like never washed since new and it was ok.

 

Second reading the millionaire next door. Wealth can be quite unassuming. Your money mindset will be your biggest hurdle.
On that what is your wife's attitude to money? Are your current goals aligned?

You may get benefit from the summer and winter series on the property couch podcast as the host interview everyday property investors and individual money mindset is explored for each interviewee. You may find you relate to some and get some gold in their stories of how they overcame their limiting beliefs.

In terms of charitable giving the host of the my millennial money podcast Glenn James often recommends a site called the life you can save which ranks charities on their tangible benefit.
I think the charitable giving is a good long term legacy goal for you given you don't have children, which will likely propel you forward in tough times if it's meaningful enough to you and your wife.

I'm no expert in any of this but the shares option could be a valuable avenue given you would be able to contribute dividends in the long run rather than rental income (which may not even be enough to cover your ip mortgage depending where you buy and for how much). Sure your property may increase in capital but it's difficult to release that for charitable giving purposes unless you sell your property. Again no expert in that so maybe someone else has a better suggestion for how to maximise beneficial charitable given with investments.

 

Just to add you had mentioned being interested in going to property seminars for further education. Tread very carefully if you choose to go to events as often they are a front to spruk poor quality assets with promises of high yield etc...
If you go in too naive you could really hinder your long term capabilities through poor asset selection. A good idea is to search whichever "expert" you wish to learn from in the search bar of this site to see how other with more experience in this space rate them.

 

I'm just trying to get my head around this because I grew up quite poor, and I never experienced any of this. Could it be because of the culture of the country you grew up in? Does the caste system come into this?

 

This!
Often they are just a way for money to change hands. Out of your pocket into the hands of a spruiker, and you will get no benefit whatsoever.

 

if youd gone shopping at vaucluse….

 

You are better off to not give your relatives money. Instead of giving them money, give them the skills to make their own money. Money given, after a time is not appreciated, it is just expected, and stops some in actually doing anything for themselves. Look at our welfare system. Plenty of people given enough money for doing nothing, but still have their hands out wanting more. Of course, not everyone is the same, but there are plenty that abuse it.

Not knowing the culture, the amount of the gifts or anything about the recipients, it's hard to give an example. So, maybe if they are renting, you can help them into their own home with a no-interest loan, but make sure they actually pay it. Or if they are street vendors, could they earn more income in another way. Look at their situation and improve it, without handing over never ending wads of cash.

 

Well, I grew up in an old miners cottage in Wombarra. (Google it). I did regularly get a train into the city, to walk around and shop though.

 

admitting its a problem is a good start. Try reading the millionaire next door and see what you think. In your case, it might be useful.

 

Sounds like you had supportive parents, a great education and work success.

But you also experienced some emotionally difficult situations that have cast a long shadow over your life. By the way, did your parents care about the first car purchase experience - or was it just you? What were their jobs?

(I am surprised that you would be teased about your shoes being copies when at university. At the 3 universities I attended, no-one would have noticed!)

The exclusion you felt sounds very hard.

I grew up without money, new clothes or any parental support and I know how it can be hard to get rid of the resulting feelings.

If you can’t get the old thoughts, see if your work offers a free employee support counseling service.

 

There are plenty on here, caveat, think of how you can add value to the person first before contacting.

 

I will definitely get that book. Its funny, I have never been a reader and from last 2 months I have been reading 2-3 hours daily.
These my wife is relieved that I am trying to learn about investing, understanding how money works and overall securing our future. She was never comfortable or even happy when I was gifting her expensive stuff.
The only thing we don't agree on is the type of property we want to purchase after a year or so. I am open to IP or PPOR while she is keen on PPOR. We have decided that we will cross the bridge once we get there. For now just keep learning and saving.

I will definitely tune in for the podcast. Thanks for taking time and replying much appreciated.

 

Thats a great tip. Because I am so keen these days that I might end up committing mistakes. I will keep that in mind. For now I am relying on books, podcasts and youtube videos. I stop watching the video if they start giving "tips" on suburbs etc. I just watch the generic ones.

 

Maybe the culture. Not the caste system for sure as its almost impossible for a salesperson to know your cast till you spell out your last name. They were not even bothered to talk to us forget about asking the name

 

So what I do is I give money when someone is sick and can't go to work or afford treatment, help with marriage expenses of kids, for buying laptop for education purposes etc.

 

Yeah my parents made sure that they provided us the best possible education. I never asked my father how he felt about the first car purchase, I thought it will embarrass him further. Its funny because I recently asked my elder brother about it and he echoed my emotions.
My mother retired as a lecturer for post graduate students in university and father used to be an architect working for the government.
Yeah its hard to get rid of such feelings. Its like a monster riding on your back all the times.