Incident at a servo

Discussion in 'Living Room' started by geoffw, 16th Mar, 2017.

Join Australia's most dynamic and respected property investment community
  1. geoffw

    geoffw Moderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    15th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    11,654
    Location:
    Newcastle
    So I pulled up to get petrol at the servo & as I was walking towards the door I noticed a couple of cops watching a woman smoking a cigarette while fuelling up. I saw her and thought: "what an idiot".
    Anyway, I went inside and paid for my petrol. As I was leaving I heard someone screaming outside! I ran out to see the woman with her arm on fire! She was waving her arm around like crazy trying to put the fire out when the two cops pushed her to the ground and got it out. When they were done, they handcuffed her and started loading her into the police car. Being the concerned/nosey citizen that I am, I asked what they were arresting her for, (figuring that her arm catching on fire would be punishment enough for smoking!).

    One of the cops looked me dead in the eyes and said, "We're arresting her for waving a firearm".
     
    MTR, Adele, Ted Varrick and 12 others like this.
  2. geoffw

    geoffw Moderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    15th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    11,654
    Location:
    Newcastle
    (Thanks to former Somersoft member Kevin Hockey)
     
    EN710 likes this.
  3. Scott No Mates

    Scott No Mates Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    18th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    27,100
    Location:
    Sydney or NSW or Australia
    How do you get a killer circus?

    Go for the juggler
     
  4. ellejay

    ellejay Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    19th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    2,192
    Location:
    Kimberley and NZ
    You're on fire, Geoff :D
     
    Perthguy likes this.
  5. geoffw

    geoffw Moderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    15th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    11,654
    Location:
    Newcastle
    Haha.

    Like when my garbage was on fire. My wife told me it was my turn to put it out.
     
    willair and Scott No Mates like this.
  6. ellejay

    ellejay Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    19th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    2,192
    Location:
    Kimberley and NZ
    I mean your jokes are hot! :p
     
  7. geoffw

    geoffw Moderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    15th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    11,654
    Location:
    Newcastle
    Thanks.

    At least something about me is hot ;-)
     
  8. ellejay

    ellejay Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    19th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    2,192
    Location:
    Kimberley and NZ
    I think you're absolutely smokin' :cool:
     
    geoffw likes this.
  9. geoffw

    geoffw Moderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    15th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    11,654
    Location:
    Newcastle
    I gave that up 28 years ago.
     
    ellejay likes this.
  10. Blacky

    Blacky Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    25th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    2,066
    Location:
    Bali
    Thats good - otherwise you could have ended up with a firearm as well.
     
    ellejay and Perthguy like this.
  11. geoffw

    geoffw Moderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    15th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    11,654
    Location:
    Newcastle
    So now we have a circle, back to the initial post.
     
  12. ellejay

    ellejay Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    19th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    2,192
    Location:
    Kimberley and NZ
    Don't pour cold water over the idea.
     
  13. geoffw

    geoffw Moderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    15th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    11,654
    Location:
    Newcastle
    You were sounding like you needed a cold shower hehe
     
    ellejay likes this.
  14. teetotal

    teetotal Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    7th Nov, 2015
    Posts:
    736
    Location:
    Sydney
    Is this is the official dad-joke thread now ?
    If it is, then i can continue :D

    "I don't feel so weird about talking to myself after hearing that the PM takes advice from a 'cabinet'.:p
     
    andrew_t and Perthguy like this.
  15. geoffw

    geoffw Moderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    15th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    11,654
    Location:
    Newcastle
    Whereas the previous prime mister took advice from someone who was obviously a Credlin.
     
  16. geoffw

    geoffw Moderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    15th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    11,654
    Location:
    Newcastle
    As for the other mob- what's the difference between a caucus and a cactus?

    On a cactus the pricks are on the outside.
     
    MTR and Phase2 like this.
  17. teetotal

    teetotal Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    7th Nov, 2015
    Posts:
    736
    Location:
    Sydney
    OK, what begins in E and ends in E and has a single letter ?




    Envelope:p
     
    MTR, andrew_t, mikey7 and 1 other person like this.
  18. DaveM

    DaveM Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    14th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    3,761
    Location:
    Adelaide & Sydney
    Whats brown and sticky?

    A stick
     
    teetotal likes this.
  19. D.T.

    D.T. Specialist Property Manager Business Member

    Joined:
    3rd Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    9,189
    Location:
    Adelaide and Gold Coast
    What's brown and rhymes with snoop?


    Dr dre
     
    mikey7 and teetotal like this.
  20. teetotal

    teetotal Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    7th Nov, 2015
    Posts:
    736
    Location:
    Sydney
    What has four wheels and flies too?



    A garbage truck !!
     
    Gockie likes this.