I'm out of touch with alot of people I think

Myers Briggs is considered as useful as a womans day horoscope by Psychologist's fyi.

Look into the actual psychometric research. Its a worthless test scientifically speaking. lots of people cant accept that though. Myers Briggs is almost a religious belief for some people.

Also with empathy you dont have to feel the emotion totally in order to be considered empathetic. The reality is you cannot feel it completely without living it for yourself. Mirror neurons can only do so much.

Hopefully my comments arent taken as condescending. Not meant that way.

 

ISTP-A here... which I interpret to mean that you're like me but more in need of human interaction.

High 5!

 

I got Yoda, which is hilarious because I am nothing like Yoda at all. I am a lot more like R2-D2 than Yoda. Amusing nonsense!

 

Apologies for the long post @vbplease. I just think its really dangerous when people think they can start diagnosing people over the internet based on a handful of forum posts.

You may not be aware that the label of "Narcissistic" came from another member who believes they can "diagnose" people over the internet, from a handful of forum posts. Which, of course, is nonsense. In this case "Narcissistic" is the layman definition "having or showing an excessive interest in or admiration of oneself", not the DSM personality disorder. Same poster labelled quite a few Sydney investors as demonstrating "Petty narcissism and lack of empathy" for being pleased that they made money in the Sydney property boom. According to said poster, @Leo2413 is respectively one of the "yin yang groupies" or part of the "selfie-prone narcissistic 'mindset' brigade". In this case, narcissistic simply means being pleased with being successful, nothing more.

Public opinion of property investors. (Tony Flemings 13 Properties at 28)

I find it interesting that you identify someone as lacking empathy and jump straight to Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). The reason I find that interesting is that lacking empathy is not only associated with NPD, it can also because a person is bipolar, a psychopath, a sociopath, is on the spectrum (Autism Spectrum Disorder), is suffering from Antisocial Personality Disorder or simply lacks Emotional Intelligence. Personally, I find it quite delusional that a person thinks they can diagnose a mental disorder from a handful of forum posts

I think your understanding of empathy is a bit lacking. There are 3 important types of empathy. Sharing the feelings of another is only one type. Are You Empathic? 3 Types of Empathy and What They Mean. I think it would be useful for you to read about and understand a bit more about empathy before labelling someone as "lacking empathy".

That is not correctly called lack of empathy. Recall in the original post, @Leo2413 stated "...She was really devastated on the phone talking about the demolition and destroying the great home... I still cant believe her anguish". A person lacking empathy would not correctly identify that another person is feeling "devastated" or experiencing "anguish" (perspective taking). In a further post, @Leo2413 stated "I do feel for her.", which demonstrates Empathic Concern - "the ability to recognize another's emotional state, feel in tune with that emotional state, and if it is a negative/distressful emotion, feel and show appropriate concern." I hope this gives you some insight that empathy is a lot more complex than literally feeling another's emotions. @Leo2413 has not demonstrated a lack of empathy. To the contrary, if he lacked empathy he would not have identified the tenant is feeling distressed and would not have posted about it.

I find this interesting too because Myers-Briggs is nonsense with as much scientific credibility as horoscopes and star signs.

"The MBTI is pretty much nonsense, sciencey snake oil. As is well-established by research, it has no more reliability and validity than a good Tarot card reading."​

The Mysterious Popularity Of The Meaningless Myers-Briggs (MBTI)

Let's pretend for a minute that we could diagnose someone from a handful of posts on an internet forum (which of course, we can't). Let's have a look at some things that Narcissists do.

“They make it clear they know everything”

That's problematic for a start. @Leo2413 has straight up admitted there is something he doesn't understand. He would never do this if he had Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

“They put their own feelings ahead of other people’s needs”

"A lack of empathy is the most telling characteristic of the narcissist. They don’t care what other people need or how they feel. Everything they do centers around what they want and need."​

7 Things Only Narcissists Do

From @Leo2413's post I did not get the impression that he does not care how his tenant feels and he has not put his feelings above hers. He has identified that a person has made an emotional attachment to a home and garden (something a narcissist would not do) and also identified that he doesn't understand these feelings. This is more indicative of a lack of shared world view than a lack of empathy.

There is a difference between seeing oneself as "Narcissistic" because they are proud of what they have achieved and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. From what you have seen of @Leo2413's posts, does he really come across like this? I don't think he is anything like this at all:

Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder exhibit a grandiose sense of self-importance, need for excessive admiration, and lack of empathy. They may display a sense of entitlement, believe they are exceptionally unique and can only be understood by or associated with an elite few, and/or be preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, beauty, intellect, or ideal love. Nonetheless, the appearance of superiority and arrogance actually masks the thin-skinned sensitivity to rejection, criticism, or defeat. Their arrogant attitudes, behaviors, and interpersonal exchanges primarily serve to enhance and maintain self-esteem. This maintenance of self-esteem is often dependent on relationships with others and individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder are often interpersonally exploitive such that they will try eliciting admiration from others in service of themselves. Limited empathic responses are characteristic of these individuals and the motive behind any seemingly altruistic behavior is to enhance self-esteem. Overall, it is estimated that Narcissistic Personality Disorder characterizes slightly less than 1% of the general population.​

Personality Disorders |

I don’t form emotional attachments to inanimate objects (like houses) and I find this behaviour abnormal. I also don’t understand it. To answer an observation by @Leo2413 “I think I've been living in my own world for so long I just don't know what others do and how they live”… join the club mate. I literally have NFI about it ether. Perhaps I am suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder as well? 

@vbplease, have you done much reading about "Emotional intelligence"? I think you would really get into it. There was a book "The emotional intelligence: Why EQ is more important than IQ". I think that is a really interesting concept. I have seen where people who are not necessarily the smartest people around do really well because they have high level of Emotional intelligence (something I don't have). The great news is that Emotional Intelligence can be taught and empathy can be developed.

http://internationaljournalofcaringsciences.org/docs/Vol1_Issue3_03_Ioannidou.pdf

 

@Perthguy your hired! My new chief litigator!

Ok jokes aside, pretty much everything @Perthguy has articulated I was thinking but too lazy to make the post and to be honest I didn't really care. I have no issues with @vbplease even though I don't agree with the whole 'lacking empathy, psycho analysing stuff', Its all good.

The value of this thread for me is all the stories of others and their experiences. I definitely see now that some tenants really view rentals as their home and can become very emotionally attached (honestly this never even crossed my mind before) and it just adds to my own insight another dimension of how tenants can feel. That is all I was really inquiring about in this thread and the feedback/stories have done just that.

Thanks to all.

 

Agreed. My parents are looking at investment properties in Adelaide's north. Some of the properties have long term tenants who would like to stay on in the long term. They have met some of the tenants who are really genuine people. Some keep the houses and yards very neat and tidy, just like they would their own homes. This is in some of Adelaide's worst suburbs.

 

They are lucky to have your help. Yeah most of the tenants I've had have been really good staying for many years. If your parents can get good long term tenants then that's one less hassle they have to worry about really. The wrong tenants can be an absolute nightmare!

 

@Perthguy, that was heavy reading.

Luckily, I had a bottle of Pinor Noir next to me .

 

@Perthguy are you working in those sector? Very informative post

 

Not working in the sector at all. This is just an area that interests me for a couple of reasons. First, I actually have come across a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. They have an incredibly different way of looking at the world. Second, I worked for a person with a personality disorder. We never worked out which personality disorder they had but I read a lot trying to figure it out. If you go back to @Leo2413's first post, a person with a personality disorder would never write a post like that (in my opinion). There are a couple of characteristics in the post that, in my experience, people with personality disorders don't have:
1. admitting there is something they don't understand
2. identifying that another person feels differently than they do and correctly identifying the emotions and identifying the reasons for the emotions
3. asking others to share similar experiences to better understand the reasons why a person might feel that way

That's the way I see it. I could be completely wrong.

 

Drinking away in your financially free days I see eh

It's ok..I usually have a few before I dare to enter this place

 

Perthguy, there is a lot I'd like to respond to as it turns out there is a backstory to Leo's signature which I didn't know about. This would be better discussed in person over a bottle of Port, since the point I've been trying make is not easy to articulate in a quick post.

I'm not sure how much clearer I could have been in highlighting that Leo's lack of empathy has been from a lack of understanding.. the cognitive type.

In Leo's first post he said he was "blown away by here sentiments", " I just couldn't understand it.", the title of the thread he is of the opinion he is "out of touch", in subsequent posts he summarised by saying he "was just surprised". If this isn't from a lack of understanding I'm not sure what is??

Yet the type of empathy you reference above is sharing the feelings, the second type.. I've made no reference to this type. I'm not sure why you have?

I've never thought Leo actually has NPD, my reference to it was a dig after reading it in his sig and thinking it was very strange..

 

Ok ok listen fellas. I'm more than happy to accept the 'lacking empathy' label . Can we pleeeeease all just move on.

@vbplease and @Perthguy we'll all have to meet up for a drink one day, though we're in 3 different cities! ....OK will have to be in Sydney as we all know where the best place is

 

I'd like that. I'm not in Sydney very often, but would be good to meet up for a drink.. we can talk about our feelings

 

Sounds good mate! Drinks on @Perthguy

btw what are feelings...



oooonly joking

 

Don't ask me!

 

@Leo2413, you have no empathy for people living interstate .

 

Correction - no empathy for people out of Bondi..