I have lost my motivation lost my mojo

The last 18 months or so I have lost my motivation.

I used to go to the gym nearly everyday,I had a knee operation last year and havent bothered since gaining over 20kg still paying the 24 hr gym fee.

I feel its going to be hard to start again, I have a fear of getting back in the treadmill and being puffed out after a minute or so.

I feel the first step is to make myself go to the gym firce myself.

Crazy thing is I live less than 5 minutes walk from it but havent been there in a year.

As for my Property investment I dearly love it, but dont have that motivation anymore to work hard or do the overtime that is needed to achieve it.

My partner separated from me last year but im over that now.

I live with a flatmate who has told me of my laziness and lack of energy .

He tries to invite me to go out with him and his friends like I used to but I prefer to stay home on my days off.

Im a now single male no kids who is going on 50 next year

Financially im secure with my main PPOR paid and 4 IP.

I like to get back into life again.
I dont think its depression as I have nothing to be depressed about.


Im thinking of trying to see a Life Coach and trying to get help in getting back up there like I was before or I should see a Personal trainer .?

 

Injury's are annoying as u don't want to do too much in case u injure it again. Have u had the all clear from Dr/Physio? If yes it's time to get back on that exercise horse! Start with baby steps, and when u don't want to, keep in mind the good feeling u get after exercise. (I'm also talking to myself!)

Did u used to like going to the gym? Do they have classes, maybe some group motivation might help. Or perhaps u prefer other exercise away from the gym - swimming, bike ride etc.

 

A personal trainer might be the boost you need. If that doesn't work, a GP to talk about how you are feeling. They can refer you to the appropriate health professional if needed.

 

Despite your statement to the contrary, perhaps you are suffering from some sort of depression. It may be worthwhile speaking to a doctor or councillor about it.

 

I injured my knees in a half marathon six months ago and haven't runned since, i plan to pick it up in the new year - new year is a good time to start anew.

Also have you considered dating again? It makes a lot of difference having a positive person to go home to.

All the best to you!

 

Often, people can feel sad and unmotivated for extended periods of time due to life changes and/ or injury.

We can also get to stages in our lives where it seems that we may not have as many choices or as much time to realise them as we used to.

If you need some help, perhaps chat to a counselor, GP or friends for some support. (But it's fine to be sad and it's not necessarily depression.)

Perhaps you were over training at the gym before? Going every day sounds a lot.

I too, after years of going to the gym regularly, stopped going after an illness.

At the same time, I had a relationship break up and it was very hard to do more than go to work, do the gardening and look after the house. I even suspended my gym membership for a while.

However, in the last three weeks I have started going to some easy classes - just one or two a week. See if your gym has small group personal training - it is cheaper and the social interaction is better than in a large class.

Also, consider joining a meet up group around your interests.

 

Medicare will pay for 7 subsidised (or free, if you can find a cheap psychologist) visits per calendar year.

With the things that have happened in your life, it sounds to me like it would be a good idea for you to make use of it. You can always decide after the initial visit if it’s for you or not.


There’s no shame in it, nor does it mean you’re crazy, I’ve seen one before.

 

It may be early days yet but a property division claim might be brought on by your ex partner... Unless it's been settled.

 

I would suggest thinking of a new activity other than the gym.. One that you actually look forward to doing before or after work. Could be with a new group or convince a friend to join, or old friend you haven't seen for a while?
The obvious ones that come to mind are walking/jogging, swimming, cycling.. but could try something totally different? surfing, rock climbing, martial arts? Yoga

 

Agree ... why be upset you don't feel like going to the gym. It's an indoor dingy place anyway. Try something lighter that is enjoyable that you'll actually do. Grab a friend you fancy having a conversation with and go for a walk in the sunshine. Vitamin D is good for lifting the mood .

 

So, dare I ask what bothers you most - the weight gain or the lack of gym attendance? I'm guessing the weight given your post on how others perceive people that are overweight.

Before I say anything else, for perspective, I am in my 54th year, married with an 'empty nest'. While I have not been through separation, I have many friends that have and in the last 4 years have buried both my parents and my mother-in-law, so have experienced loss.

First up, its OK to feel down - you have had a significant loss late in life and that's goddammed hard. Secondly an injury in your 50's takes a lot longer to heal than it would have in your 20's, and the loss in fitness while you recover is a *****. So lighten up on yourself. You are normal!! And go see your GP for a mental health plan to get 10 subsidised sessions with a Psychologist. They are trained to listen and help you explore your thoughts, don't know you from Adam and you can say anything and walk out at the end of the hour knowing it will go no further. That alone works wonders!!!

Second - if the weight is what's bothering you most remember that ~85% of it is what you put in your mouth. Small changes make big differences. It took 12-18 months to put the weight on so give yourself the same time to lose it. 2Kg per month is not too hard. Watch your diet Sunday night through Friday afternoon, then let your hair down on the weekends. Far easier that way than following some rigid regime.

Third - if you want to get back into Gym, as @Joynz mentioned, small group personal training is the way to go. You get social contact as well as a workout so it soon becomes a meeting of friends rather than a workout, and that also tends to keep you honest. Heck, the group I used to train with used to go out for breakfast after class on Friday mornings, and while sometimes folk missed the class they never missed brekky

Chin up Terrychris! You don't need to solve everything at once, just small steps is all it takes.

Cheers,
Scott

 

Always the best advice is to see your doctor first.

Simple blood tests will discover any imbalances and a professional may spot issues you are not aware of.

Once you have the medical all clear you can then move forward.

But do see your doctor. Soon.
Marg

 

If it helps, I personally find the going to be a gym even if it's 24/7 to be something that wouldn't motivate me. It's better to be in an environment where you engage with people and there are people that are motivating you. I am a big fan of bootcamps, f45 and group training programs where you meet people from all wakes of life and generally they are all good people that will help you push you. You feel so much better after each training session.

I'd lost 13kgs in 7 weeks due to the group training program.

 

Another tip is if going for a walk, choose a nice setting such as along a river where there is plenty of greenery to see and calm the mind (and you're away from road noise). And have a destination. Just doing a circuit can seem pointless. Wander into town with a friend via the river chitchatting with your friend. Grab a hot chicken and some raw veg and plastic forks from Woolies and enjoy your lunch in front of the river or lake. Then walk home again.

 

I'd lean towards a good impersonal trainer ie one who will work with you, your injury, your level of fitness and your mind.

I'm coming back from a major break, getting little ticks from the specialist to get back into the pool, gym and exercise bike - so I can't wait.

 

Financially im secure with my main PPOR paid and 4 IP.

If that's the case then you are a lot better off then some of the 50age plus males i see in the park each morning in the local park that live there,it does not take very far to walk too see people a lot further down life's ladder then yourself..
I would make a simple list of all the good items in your life,then another list of your problem area's,half the times most problem area's can be fixed very quickly by yourself..Then as some will get scared of taking it to its logical conclusion ,go and see a Psychologist as money would not be a problem
and sit down and talk,after a few minutes a good Psychologist would work you through this period in your life,and give you the skills warning signs to deal with this problem,walking works best for me after 200mts are the worry is left behind..

 

@Terrychris from what you've said, it sounds like depression. It doesn't always mean being sad, for some it just casts a gloomy outlook on their world, others just couldn't be bothered.. with anything.

I can offer some suggestions that might help you get your mojo back, but the trick is to keep trying and don't give up. You'll find something that works for you.

1. Make sure you're getting enough sleep, at least 7hrs.

2. Forget the gym. You obviously don't want to go back there, so don't. Cancel your membership. The fact you have your membership and the gym is only 5-mins away, means you're beating yourself up for nothing.

I doubt a personal trainer will help. They're good for people who want to "be there", but need pushing to get the most of their exercise. If you don't want to be there, you'll either miss the appt, or feel aggrieved toward the trainer for the session.

3. Fix your diet. Something is going on if you've gained 20kg in a year, and it's not because you stopped going to the gym. Exercise has very little impact on weight loss, excess cardio can cause weight-gain. If you're drinking sugar-free drinks go and bin them all now. They're poison.

4. Find something new you might like to try. Pick a date and do it!

5. If you want to make sustainable changes to your life, you need to understand why you want to make them. Motivation comes much easier when there's a genuine reason instead of an arbitrary goal.

6. Try watching some TED talks. There is some super interesting stuff on there, about personal happiness, motivation, how the brain works.. etc etc.

That list might not work for you, but some of it might. Like I said, just keep trying stuff until you've got a system that works for you. You'll get there if you want to.

 

Your right Willair and Im trying not to feel sorry for myself, my parents would be rolling over in their grave now if they saw me feeling sorry for myself and I know they would say to pick myself up.

Great advice from a lot of you and I have decided to try to set some goals.

This morning I went to see my GP who said I was going through a phase in life and explained that anti deppressants may help even though I havent had any deppression.
He suggested during this "holiday" period where Im currently off work for the next 4 weeks actually 3 to go , that I should kerp myself busy instead of loathing around and maybe he's right.
He told me that during this holiday period he has a lot of patients suffering anxiety , depression etc which I was quite surprised at.

Anyhow I have taken on board your advice and arranged a referral to see a Psychologist and on the Doctors suggestion a Exercise Physiologist.

The doctor told me to go back to the gym.

The next goal is to walk back into the gym and hopefully I can do that today.

Some great advice from everyone on here and I really appreciate it and I have taken it onboard and thankyou to Phase2 a lot of good information there.

 

You're welcome , and good on you for acting so quick. That's an excellent start!

I'd hold off on the gym until you've seen the physiologist. The last thing you want is to risk injury when you're making your comeback! It'll still be there in a few days.

btw I'm not anti-exercise, I exercise regularly (no cardio), but I understand my motivation for exercising too.

 

Goal setting theory: I like that S.M.A.R.T. model of goal setting. SMART is:-
- Specific
- Measurable
- Achievable
- Realistic
- Time-based

This helped me a lot when I was setting goals and smashing them! For example, I set myself the goal of completing a 100km ride, 4 weeks after I started cycling again... and I did it.

For you, I would start simple. Just set yourself the goal of going to the gym and walking for 30 minutes on one of the running machines.

That's really good!

I agree. Do some googling to see if there are some things that you want to do, make some lists of things to do each day and then go out and do them. I think just getting out you will find a huge improvement.

When I had to stop exercising for a while due to injury, I found it very difficult to find the motivation to start again. But I found once I had done a few sessions I was more motivated to continue. I think we develop a certain inertia about how we are living. If we are inactive we kind of want to stay that way. If we are active we are more motivated to keep being active. Put it this way, when I was exercising a lot, I never though 'gees, I wish I could just go back to being a couch potato'. But when I was inactive, I thought a lot about starting my exercise program again. I hope this makes sense.

I think that will be good for you.

You CAN do that today!

I think it is a huge step for you to post that you are not feeling ok. Mostly, people are reluctant to do this but most people I know have really struggled at some point. I hope all this helps and you can lift yourself out of your slump.