How would your life be different if.........

Hi Kate, I believe there's nothing wrong with not being a leader and that it's okay to be a sheep (unless you mean someone who blindly follows without thinking for themselves, and I don't believe many people are like that). I am not a leader. I don't like taking charge, being the boss. I am a good collaborator and I like working in a good team. I don't need to be out front and I really do not like the limelight. If that means I'm a sheep, so be it.

What you are talking about (being in the moment) is about mindfulness, which comes from Buddhist teachings. When we meditate, we are in the present. The first Noble Truth of Buddhism is that 'Life is Suffering'. If we try to avoid or evade the suffering, we will make it worse. We are meant to embrace the suffering, knowing that there is a higher purpose (karma) and that we are paying off debts. Everything changes; nothing stays the same. Everything in life is impermanent-happiness, sorrow, grief, money, even life itself. Non-attachment is the key to freedom/happiness for Buddhists. It is attachment which causes suffering. That means non-attachment to being a leader, to money, to standing out from the crowd, to material possessions, even to people.

 

I think such generalisations say more about the person making them than the people the generalisations are about

 

I love your post @BigKahuna ... The joys of learning, evolving and challenging ourselves to do better each day Love you comment about avoiding suffering....its so true and interesting how it can be human nature to run from it ?

When I say being a leader, it doesn't mean being in charge of other people, it just means being in charge of yourself (empowered). So rather than just saying "yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir" believing everything you are told, it means to question everything and call the shots on your life, rather than letting other people/social ideals etc over power you .... or be a victim to life.....

Do you practice Buddhism? I don't know much about it, other than they wear orange clothing. Interested to know more.

 

Council are slow LOL, but as painful as they are .... there are benefits like them approving a renovation or a development that when completed will make you a profit ??

 

Bloody hope so!

 

Hi Kate, after what you've experienced, I can totally understand that it is important for you to empower yourself and not to give it away. I saw this Buddhist quote and it made me think of you: " It is better to live one day as a tiger than a thousand years as a sheep."

I am not a practising Buddhist. I did a meditation course run by Lama Choedak at a nearby Buddhist centre about six years ago after suffering anxiety and depression. I re-did it a couple of years ago. I do meditation every day (well, most days). I am still a novice. On Sunday mornings the centre runs meditation sessions, and a friend and I sometimes go along. After the meditation session Lama Choedak ( or whoever is leading the meditation on the day) gives a talk and answers questions about meditation practice or Buddhism.

I've also done a course developed by Jon Kabat-Zinn. He is a long time practitioner and a Buddhist. He has written many books. He is a professor of medicine and was asked by a hospital in Massachusetts to do something for those patients they couldn't help. He developed MBSR (mindfulness-based stress reduction). Patients reported good results. I loved his book 'Wherever You Go There You Are'.

The West has taken the concept of 'mindfulness' and has 'westernised' it to some extent. It is used in cognitive behaviour therapy, and acceptance and commitment therapy but, imho, they have taken a superficial view of it. But, hey, if it works for those people who use it even 'superficially' who am I to judge?

 

Very interesting Thanks for explaining @BigKahuna ... Can I nickname you big buddha?

Its always good to be a novice, you never stop learning or growing .... and being humble to that fact keeps you grounded. Its a good attitude to have. I have a friend from Sydney who also invested in mining, found it tough emotionally and went to buddhism classes and it seems to have helped her a lot.

Yes, mindfulness is a great skill to have. Agree about the westernising part. Its like that whole think positive movement, its designed to sell, however some of it can be superficial. Like you said, we actually need to feel pain/feelings at times .... whereas teachings like the secret (etc) will tell you its negative to feel sadness, anger, depression and so people who believe in those teachings will run away from it. I believe its possible to have those feelings and be at peace at the same time, the challenge is to accept a situation that we don't want ...(non attachment yeah?)

Oh yes, empowerment is my number one value. It takes a lot of humility to be a mentor and let people have their own journey. I witnessed mentors over power others who dared to question the mining town thing. Its a fine balance, to be in your truth and speak your truth, but also to have enough courage and faith in yourself that you don't need affirmation or confirmation from others ... it was like they felt safe converting people to think like them? A true mentor who knows their truth doesn't care about the results (non attachment?) they just do what they do because thats what they love to do and if others listen, great, and if they don't listen, great.

 

Yeah, that's not really a mentor is it? That's a self-absorbed sociopath with a massive ego. A true mentor would have as much wisdom as he/she has knowledge. If someone tries to 'overpower' another, knowing that they are in a position of weakness, that's intimidation, manipulation and oppression. I can totally understand how a 21 year old would be susceptible to that kind of control. I'm glad you've come out the other end. You are only 27 and have many years ahead of you.

 

Haha that's a funny quote - a tiger for a day.

See, what you're saying is you'd rather be Alexander and die at 19 (or whatever it was) than yourself now... Is that really true?

 

When I used to write property profiles of investors for the magazines (I often did 4 a month), I used to be amazed by how modestly some of them chose to live. Then I realised it was a trend/lifestyle to invest in wealth now and enjoy the benefits later. I remember one guy, who lived not far from me out west, had at least three almost-unencumbered properties and several others with good equity. He lived in a small unit, nothing flashy, simple clothes - that's probably HOW he'd managed to amass his wealth. Inspiring!

 

Was discussing this topic with a friend, thinking if we make harsh judgements and don't give people a chance we will never know what we are missing.

No one is perfect, have friends that have driven me to drink, but they have turned out to be my most loyal friends....just saying.

MTR