How would your life be different if.........

Men do have self-doubts about how a relationship might have been handled differently; sometimes it is destroyed on purpose too.

Are you describing the end of a tough marriage scenario here in this post, though BK?

It is true that generally women leave before men do in that scenario.

But generally speaking - when you first meet someone - the judging aspect can be either very fast for some, or very very belated down the track.

I found that when I was a teenager and had just entered the workforce, my naivety about folks was higher, and therefore so was the "tolerance" - or blindness to - shifty, or annoying, or grating folks.

I remember seeing a different view of some of our customers to that of my Bosses - who were older...it took me a bit longer to catch on to what they were assessing where I wasn't.

As you get older and more experienced in life, you acquire more of a keen-ness; more of a skill to assess, evaluate and judge how people are.

It has little to do with their appearance of course, but let's be honest; a lot of dodgy looking people are just plain dodgy.

Therefore - and particularly after you've been burned numerous times over a lot of years - you become more wary and guarded, and develop the ability to cut through the noise quicker to see what the real person is like underneath..

 

LOL!

A favorite catch-cry of the skanky bogan deros who know they are being an a-hole, who look like 10 miles of bad road - and are feeling guilt about being a low-life, and are found out....massive case of no self esteem.

(Sorry to generalise and happy to be proven wrong)

I have seen these types actually yell "DON'T YOU JUDGE ME!!" and jab their pointed index finger at a passer-by in the Mall; who just happened to look at this person as they passed.

But; they choose to take on that appearance, that lifestyle and life path....feeling inferior, hating the "rich *****", their Boss, the cops, that bloke driving a Merc/BMW....etc.

I wonder where your son heard this, though?...since when does an 8 year old have any concept or interest in what "judging" is? I know I never did at that age; "What's on tv?", was my only concern back then.

It is a very commonly used term in this PC world now....god forbid anyone describes anyone as anything, or puts a label on anything.

We wont't be able to call anyone a Man or Woman, or chick, or guy before long; it'll be "person".

 

I hear you Bayview and, whilst of course, men have self-doubts and it's healthy to do an autopsy on a dead relationship, the comments in this thread show that men don't question themselves as much as women do when it comes to judgement.

 

I think this thread shows that some women can be the worst enemies of other women and that Queen Bees don't question themselves. Often, if it wasn't for men, good women would be stung to death by a mindless group doing their mistress' bidding.

www.gotoquiz.com/what_role_do_you_play_in_a_clique_girls

 

Yes, WattleIdo, I agree: it's unfortunate when a woman sides with the bullies and then cries wolf. It's called victim-blaming.

 

Deep.

Can't help but reading into the intricacies and subtleties of your post.

Pity those truths don't hit home to those who need it most.

pinkboy

 

I think we should be going back to what the thread is about, lets not judge right?????

Please do not derail this thread WattleIdo and Pinkboy, alternatively start your own thread.

Nothing malicious whatsoever intended by this thread if you interpret differently I cant help that. If the thread is offensive then report and let the mods decide.

However, if you want to contribute regarding the issue then great please do, otherwise start your own thread as I mentioned. DO NOT DERAIL....


Thanks

MTR

 

Quoted so you can reread your own advice.

If you feel so precious or so threatened by someone's post, for whatever reason, then put that person on ignore. If you can't put that person on ignore, then you have to accept their advice, post, opinions or ideas and judge on that merit.

WattleIdo and my posts were very on topic - our interpretation of 'judgement' and how we deal with it good, bad or otherwise.

pinkboy

 

Sometimes one meets interesting people,i talk to several each year at asx listed agm,s within Australia,some younger some older,but all sitting there would be there for a reason,so you would maybe have a hit rate of over 80% of talking to someone who you could talk too for hours about what you have done and also they tell their story,and sometimes the ones that dress down just simple timid loner people are the ones with the highest levels of units in the company,they don"t judge anyone they just listen and make their mind up in 60 seconds who sitting next too them..
Then go for a walk in inner city west end parks early morning walking slowly,you will also see another lifestyle of the homeless with mental drug drinks problem,you could maybe learn as much from someone living on the side of the river with million dollar river sunrise views homeless about how they end with a dog and a few bags ,then you could from simple thinking intelligent people at the AGM..

In one of Sir Richard Branson's books,and rather then trigger numerous copyright alerts,as i can't find the page,he says something like ''i make up my mind about the person very quickly
standing in front of me who ever they are" just some are more generic and others became more unique by just simple listening..

..

 

Interesting book, I read this some time ago.
He is a very different breed though.

MTR

 

Great we are on the same page then, stick to the topic and no personal attacks and all good.

The forum is big enough for everyone.

MTR

 

I try not to judge people but I read to many facebook comments...

 

Another good quote from one of the pages is,it's always a waste of emotions to answer critics..
But from the way he started the set-backs,and there has been many,his long term relationships
once you read the first few pages of those books fifty pages later,you still read more..

 

I've found this thread interesting as it started out with such good intentions, intentions I mostly agree with. I have a very high exposure to lower socio economic tenants, yes often bogans and have found them to be no better or worse of a group of people than upper and middle class folks. I tend to think of humans as being more of on a bell curve. There is a smaller number whom are very nice/helpful as well a smaller number who are way to mean/unhelpful and then every one else is in between. Here's a very interesting read on bias one of many flaws in the human condition

http://io9.gizmodo.com/5974468/the-most-common-cognitive-biases-that-prevent-you-from-being-rational

Surely we can all see some of our own flaws in that document.

We all get older and make assumptions quicker based on our experience. The thing I've found is that many of my assumptions require constant questioning as to there validity.

 

I am not on FB decided it was not for me.

MTR

 

I understand this, I don't like the idea of throwing anyone under the bus, try to look at the positive aspect, its hard sometimes though.

MTR

 

I don't judge a person where they are in terms of their socioeconomic standing. As long as people who are physically and mentally able to work, stay away from bloody centre link lines and our hard earned taxpaying dollars. I am more than happy to judge anyone who willfully and deceitfully scrounge off the rest of us hardworking folk simply because they are too lazy to get off their ass. Flip a burger if need be. But get to work.

 

This makes me think you haven't gotten to know many people with tattoos.

Probability does not equal certainty.

 

My best guess would be TV. Not too worried about it yet because I don't think he understands it fully and I monitor what he watches

 

Sorry MTR...all this positivity is making me ill with nausea! It must be all that drinking over NYE.

I have a radar which shifts through the wheat from the chaff pretty quickly. Most successful people I know do the same.

A few on this forum have gone to far too many....Anthony Robbins sorts of seminars...the impact you have on others...is based on your personal charisma and the knowledge you impart.

What is really interesting is that property is a hard business......you need to sort the wheat from the chaff.

Personally...I think it will be a lot harder to make money in property this year. Though you can set yourself up for future years. What will be interesting to see if what happens to the newbie paper millionaires in Sydney when the market makes the inevitable hard correction.

Just looking at Perth some hard correction happening there...interesting times indeed. I have had to drop my rent by $30 on my property there...and still no takers...but this is the market cycle so no biggie.