Gender, and perceived ownership of property

Now you are getting into what you said you wouldnt....

 

The things I have heard that are the patriarchies fault. Not even convinced it is a real thing outside of some peoples heads.

I reckon the young bloke was just stating what he thought was a fact. No big deal imo.

 

@KayTea I have to admit when I first read it I thought it was this.

Basically an acknowledgement that one of the owners was home, and specifying which one it was (rather than say, just saying "Well, one of them is").

 

or we should ask, KayTea.....you are the wife, no?

 

Nope. The point of the original post was just being reiterated - the assumption was made that the owner wasn't going to also be the woman in the house. I was just surprised that, in 2018, some people still thought like that.

 

As in most written communication, it can be very hard to relay the voice that was used, and the delay in the answer. There was a definite 'not the owner, just the wife' tone.

It is what it is. I'm not wanting to start an argument (based on gender, sexism or male-bashing etc) or for anyone to criticise, or defend, the guy's comment, or my perception of it. It was just something I was a little surprised by, and thought I'd share it

 

Whats 2018 got to do with this?
Many people here have stated that they think you have made an assumption that is incorrect.
And their reasonings are valid.
Can you possibly think this way or not?
Its the first thing I thought of as the way the guy answered was to state yes the owner is home and its the wife. Nothing else whatsoever.
The way he said it of course leaves a small insignificant hole to go thru and make it out to be something different. IMO.

Anyways, why didnt you approach him and correct if you feel so strongly about it instead of coming here to complain?

 

Sorry your reply to thatbum has jumped infront of my reply.
Im sure the guy meant nothing wrong.
Over and out.

 

Man, talking about people getting their knickers in a knot.

I've relayed a comment I heard - with the tone of voice, and other inflections, pauses etc - and just passed on that based on what I heard, it was interesting to still hear someone say that. I didn't complain or criticise, I didn't make a sexist remark about the fact that it was a guy (and not a girl) that made the comment - it was the content of the comment that surprised me.

And yes, @Phar Lap, you're right - there was probably nothing wrong/malicious in the answer made (he was a nice guy, and a hard worker) - but it was made.

I think it's interesting that someone who wasn't there to hear it believes that they get to call 'over and out' on the discussion, because they don't like/agree with it. After a number of years in here, listening to other people tell stories of their events and observations, I thought I'd share one. Sorry it it has offended some people's sensitivities - clearly, some people have not taken too kindly to me sharing something I heard.........

 

Maybe he was being inclusive? Acknowledging that at least one of the owners was home?

If he had said “no, only the wife is home” it would be a different assumption.
Marg

 

Meaning can depend on the tone of voice...

 

I've experienced this one way or another throughout my life as I always seem to work in male dominated industries and have always handled our personal finances and investments.

First time I remember was when I used to work at bunnings in my early 20's and was in the builders hardware department when an (older male) customer asked if there was anyone around to help and I said, yes, me and responded that he'll be right so I walked off. Next thing I know I get a call from the trade desk for customer assistance and I head over there and it's the same ol mate. My work mate told him is was my department but that didn't make any difference...

Recently is with the handyman business that my husband and I own but he works in 90% of the time and I help out occasionally. I've been on job sites and people have asked if I'm the cleaner even if I have a screw driver in my hand an am in the process of adjusting the hinge on the kitchen door.... Or, we'll submit a quote and have it accepted and my husband used to say "my wife, and business partner, will be doing the job for you" and they'd cancel.

Then we thought maybe saying 'wife' makes me sound less credible so then he just says 'business partner' but as soon as he says *she* will be out there they baulk and end up cancelling. Not all the time, but often enough, and usually it's females who kick up a stink.

Then there's the opposite side with some people's reactions when a female turns up and they act like I've just cured cancer at how amazing it is to have a female handyman...

I could go on and on with other examples....

 

Oh my goodness

 

I agree that I think that with some it will take many generations to change (hey we are around our parents for the most formative years of our lives) and in some industries, this approach will not change - blokes will be blokes. If you took the bloke away from his mates he wouldn't have anyone to support him and I'm sure he would be quite meek and mild. It is an interesting discussion to have around human biases (usually blind ones at that).

I wonder if they would let a female electrician, plumber or mechanic work on their houses/cars?? (and many times a female wins comps in these areas too).

 

It’s surprising you have had people cancel. I often get a bit of a shock from clients when they open the door, a lot will say oh I was expecting a man, but more often than not the reaction that follows is “how lovely” or “isn’t this great”, “nice to see a lady for a change” and often “my wife will be happy to deal with another woman”
I think it actually gives us an edge over competitors as clients find me easier to deal with and not trying to force a sales pitch at them or use scare tactics/generally trying to rip them off etc like some
Intimidating tradies do

 

When i was looking to buy a home in the early 2000s I used to drag along a male friend so that the agents would acknowledge me (or rather, him) at the opens. At display home villages I'd have the salesmen tell me to bring my partner or dad with me next time so we can talk numbers (I was single).

Ive started the hunt for a ppr and even now i have a few agents leave me well alone at opens cos I don' have my husband with me. If they ask and i tell them I'm on my own, a few mention how expensive the area is for a single woman. On the positive, at least I won't be annoyed at some opens by an agent closely following me through every room

 

I meant over and out from me. After all I’d said enough don’t you agree?
Didn’t dismiss you at all.
Yet another misinterpretation.

 

I had the opposite experience, not property related but in business.
Both my wife and I worked in our business, which I actually started and then introduced her once it was established.
Apart from the employees, customers and company reps did not know we were husband and wife.
There were countless occasions where I was asked if my wife was the owner of the business, or they just assumed she was the owner.
I was mostly overlooked as a warehouse worker or regular employee.

 

Ok this is stereotyping. You look like a warehouse worker/regular employee, rather than a business entrepreneur. (If there is such a "look").
Looks are deceiving. Take it as a complement?

 

I actually look to the female assistants in Bunnings as they do know that shed very well.
Most of the blokes are hiding away trying to not be noticed.