Friends who've lost lots...

Discussion in 'Investment Strategy' started by hammer, 27th Oct, 2017.

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  1. hammer

    hammer Well-Known Member

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    Anyone here got friends who made poor decisions or just got unlucky?

    I've got a few up here, and they're going through some real pain.

    I'm talking underwater by 2-300k!

    Anything I can or should do as a friend to help? ( Other than not mentioning property?l)

    Anyone else got friends in trouble?
     
  2. datto

    datto Well-Known Member

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    A couple of failed marriages/relationships with kids will blow $300K out of the arena. Believe me lol.

    Tell them to stay single.
     
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  3. jaybean

    jaybean Well-Known Member

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    Or ship the kids off to the glue factory.
     
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  4. private_number

    private_number Well-Known Member

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    Yep, I've seen friends jump into the property game without any clue and lost 100k.

    I've also seen friends lost the same amount to gambling.
     
  5. Gypsyblood

    Gypsyblood Well-Known Member

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    I am that annoying friend who sets up budgets for friends, nags them when they don't stick to it, manages to cut their credit cards, reminds them there's a future coming with the choices they are making in present and constantly asks them to study further and ask why they aren't getting a pay raise or why they didn't go for that internal interview.

    I'm sure some of my friends are over it, yet I can't help it.

    Be that annoying friend.
     
  6. Terry_w

    Terry_w Lawyer, Tax Adviser and Mortgage broker in Sydney Business Member

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    Steve Navra's hundreds of clients?
     
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  7. Marg4000

    Marg4000 Well-Known Member

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    Supporting a friend who has had a big financial loss is no different to any other trauma or sort of loss.

    We have friends who have suffered death of a child, and that must be a thousand times worse than a financial loss.

    Be there for them. Contact them regularly, "just called to let you know I am thinking if you". Don't shy away from the issue. But don't ask direct questions, that day they may not want to talk about it. Open questions such as "how are things going", "how are you getting on" allow them to talk as much or as little as they want at that particular time.

    As a friend, I figure it is my role to support them as they work through their issues. It is not my role to "solve" their problem for them.
    Marg
     
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  8. hobartchic

    hobartchic Well-Known Member

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    Offer to go for a walk and other cheap ways to socialize. Refer to financial counselling services. Do not loan them money but offer to cook them a meal etc if you want to be helpful. People go through worse than losing money as difficult as that may be.
     
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  9. MTR

    MTR Well-Known Member

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    Yes, family member. Basically selling everything.

    But its very hard to help people who don't want to help themselves, they have to want to change their spending habits etc. Some people are just not good at managing finances and then greed gets in the way.

    MTR:)
     
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  10. Stoffo

    Stoffo Well-Known Member

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    When we we're kids, my best friend lost his dad, everything went into a trust fund till he turned 21. Dad was a gov employee, had savings, life insurance, and the home was rented out nearly 10 years.

    At 18yo he engaged a lawyer to fight the trust, he was awarded $50k and the house (two storey with bay views $300k odd).

    By 19yo he was back in the lawyers office, another $50k and the adjoining block of land to the house sold off by 20yo for $125k.

    At 21 he got the balance unknown, but he kept living it up, fast cars, share trading, until 25 ish when the house sold.

    He rented for a few years, then got the grandparents inheritance, a home in Nth NSW, before racking up more debts and selling it for over $300k

    By mid 30s he ended up buying a farm block with an ATCO hut in woop woop far east Vic for $100k, no power, no toilet, no hot water, he was living there until recently, at 46yo :oops:

    Estimated inheritance at 18/21 over $500k, plus later inheritence and "gifts" nudging a further $350k
    Never worked an actual paid job....

    After 28 years of spending, net worth maybe $100k o_O
     
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  11. hobartchic

    hobartchic Well-Known Member

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    And yes, have family that lost 2-300k due to poor decisions over decades, finally had to sell up when family stopped extending unpaid loans (including frail mother and adult children). They were able to land on their feet due to hard work when things got bad. Lost their house but can afford rent. Will probably end up in government house in retirement but never lacked money due to generous family benefits and house bought cheaply in 80s.
    Another family receive even more in benefits due to young children and one with issues, sold their home, blew 160k in twelve months, moved in with grandparents (even though they could afford rent), left and ceased contact with useful family and now rent somewhere else.
    Like I say, stay friends, but no need to be too helpful unless you are sure people are desperate and even then be careful.
     
  12. Ross Forrester

    Ross Forrester Well-Known Member

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    I know quite a few people who are having a rough time of it.

    The first wave were the glamorous - but now I see good financially smart people struggling.

    It is heart breaking.
     
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  13. Trainee

    Trainee Well-Known Member

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    So what is causing this? Job loss? Sickness? Or just markets turning?
     
  14. Lacrim

    Lacrim Well-Known Member

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    I wonder if the odds are higher for a life going nowhere or worse, off the rails, if one knows they will inherit a large sum of cash/assets when their parents die vs knowing they'll get nothing.....like Warren Buffett does with his kids.

    In my case, I know how much roughly I'll get when my remaining parent dies (pray its as far away as possible) but that doesn't make me any less responsible with cash.

    Probably has more to do with my upbringing. I've always sought 'value' most of my life - inherently learned from my dad who's the ultimate TA :p
     
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  15. Stoffo

    Stoffo Well-Known Member

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    I dont blame parenting, good parenting helps ;)

    Advertising, targeted brainwashing, thats the number 1 problem.
    All the "you need/must have" (commercialism of life :( ).

    Bring back the simple existence :cool:
     
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  16. jins13

    jins13 Well-Known Member

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    See some awful stuff when people are addicted to gambling. During my time working in the Star, saw quite a few people who pretty much sold their soul away to the pokies. Have also known people who worked 7 days a week for many years who spend it all in the pokies and nothing to show for it.
     
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  17. Joynz

    Joynz Well-Known Member

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    The most important question is whether he is more or less satisfied with his life now.

    I wonder if his resilience was affected very badly by the death of his parent when he was a child - and he dealt with it as many would - by excesses to try to 'make it right'.

    It sounds like his mum wasn’t there either (since he got the death benefits, not her)?

    To me, his behavior sounds like the result of deep mental anguish.

    Does he regret spending all the money? He might be fine with it.
     
    Last edited: 29th Oct, 2017
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  18. Stu Lawson

    Stu Lawson Member

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    This is sad.. I don't know anyone who succumbed to pokies (nor can imagine how one can be addicted to that), but I know a restaurant owner who gambled away their shop in FIFA World Cup, online betting and horse racing. To some people, the opportunity for a quick wealth (gambling) is too much to pass up
     
  19. KevinJ

    KevinJ Well-Known Member

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    Had friends that swapped their PPOR from Lindfield to Box Hill many years ago, back in 2009 or so to gamble on the rezoning of brownfield acreage. Their neighbours got rezoned to R2 residential and sold for close to 6M in 2014 or 2015, whereas most of their land got rezoned to community use, I think it was some environmental overlay or rezoning for local parklands
     
  20. Paul@PAS

    Paul@PAS Tax, Accounting + SMSF + All things Property Tax Business Plus Member

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    Have seen three people this year who made bids at auctions they could't settle on. Ouch. All lost the 10% deposit. Two of three had to pay a bit more of top of that.

    A fair number of shameful tales of developers who thought their projects made $000s who are struggling to complete. The lenders are presently being co-operative to get them settled to avoid media. I wonder for how long. Eventually banks stop playing friendly and poor old buyer is called an unsecured creditor

    A fair few have to regret their race to buy in the frenzy...
     
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