Fear of Relationships over worry about losing everything

Child support is OK... I happily pay that, actually I pay much more than legally obliged since i want my kids to have a better school, private health care and extra activities which I all pay for.

It is the losing 70% of your assets that have taken 25 years to accumulate I wouldn't be able to cope with, your friend will still cop that.

 

I voted for I don't consider this at all. Being married 12 years, I will be more upset and heart broken to think about wealth. If it really comes to that, she can take the lot, I will survive with the memories.

 

Id rather go into it with open eyes and an open heart. money's replaceable, wasting years of your life miserable and scared of the boogie man is no way to live imo

 

How can anyone say his friend will lose 70% of his assets based on absolutely no knowledge of the specifics of the situation?

staying in an unhappy, miserable marriage that not only hurts the couple but likely the kids just to save paying child support is a great example of cutting off your nose to spite you face.

yay he didn't have to pay child support, all he had to do was live in misery and have his kids do the same too. imagine the lesson that teaches the kids, overlook all/many flaws if the money flows. father of the year material right there.

 

Asset protection.

Half of nothing is nothing.

Being wealthy is more fun when you have someone to share it with.

I was well on my way when my partner came along. Built a new PPOR for "us" to live in when our daughter was born. If, and that's a BIG if, things turn sour, this property is theirs. IP's are perpetually self funded. All properties are in my name solely. Our partner agreement is not a 50/50 split, but rather I allow them to keep our PPOR. I get the rest. They'll be looked after. Naive? Perhaps. But life is too short to die rich and alone from not giving it all a go.

 

I'm not sure why you would have to give 70% + of your assets to the other person if there are no children or if the children are over 18? That doesn't sound like a reasonable distribution. But then family law makes no sense to me and seems to be based on unique factual situations.

Losing 50% + of your assets would be very upsetting if you put in the majority of the financial contributions and, understandably, it naturally would make a person worry about entering another relationship in the future.

 

ok 40-70% if kids over 18. I was referring to if I had been married, and others I know. I know 3 fathers who lost their home which they had long before the wife, one had to move back with his parents because the wife pretty much got the lot plus support.

yes agree. better to separate properly, pay the support, and help with the kids as often as possible (most days in my case).

 

Nah, at least I will agree, do what makes life work and worth living.

Alone and rich is not appealing especially later in life and health is not 100%

 

I've factored this in, thus my end goal is double what it needs to be.

I think about it, but don't care. I've talked about it with my wife, and basically, what's mine is hers, and what's hers is hers.

I'm doing it for the kids/family anyway. It's not about me.

 

Im not sure "worry" is the right word. Maybe 'conscious'. I am conscious that there is a risk but I do not worry about it.

In my earlier years, yes, I thought it was a significant thing. Then I realised that in the greater scheme of things I have bugger all anyway, so is worring about it, and is protecting it - to the detriment of all my relationships worth while? - No.

I came to the relationship with more $value than Mrs Blacky. But with her assistance Im sure I will be able to generate more than if I tried to do it alone.

If the worst is to happen, she can take the lot. Ill start again. Made it once, can do it again. Its not so much that the time spent together would still far outway it.

Blacky

 

lol...thats usually the way it is..or at least they think so...

 

I haven't casted a vote. I'm somewhere between option 1 and 2.
I've had the rough end of the stick and bounced back.
The family court system is a joke and I ended up paying more than I should have just to end it - going through the process was just draining cash and having every hanger-on clip the ticket at my expense. Ending it by just cutting a deal, getting on with life and certainty, had value & I suspect cheaper in the long run.
The knowledge & skill in making money through property they can't take away. That's more valuable than any percentage of your assets is worth. And if you approach it in the right way you'll be stronger - and make it back faster than the first time round.

 

Very good question.
Yes, it's one of the many 'issues'. An important characteristic is the combination of integrity and financial know how. Not so worried about splitting the assets on departure - more the wasting of them while together. That would ruin everything. And what about his adult kids? Too hard basket - sorry.
When young, sharing is so much easier.

 

I do worry. After seeing my parents separation recently and their financial position change dramatically it plays on my mind.

 

Wow, spend years wasting your life in a miserable marriage just to avoid paying your share of child support. The funny thing is the assets obtained during those miserable years of which he will lose at least 50% of will probably amount to more $ than what the child support payments would have been. Fail.

 

Makes zero difference who's "name" the property is in, partner is potentially entitled to a share of it. Additionally your partner "agreement" is basically worthless if your partner decides not to adhere to it, which is most likely.

If it goes to court everything is up for grabs, all property and super. Figure losing 50% in best base scenario, more if kids are involved.

 

I agree @sanj. That's something which doesn't discriminate. No matter how much money or wealth you have, time is something which you never get back.

 

Yes. That's a worst case scenario. And I'm aware handshake deals are worth nothing these days. My assumption that "she'll be right" may be a mistake, as would your assumption of the dynamics of my relationship.

Just make double.

 

Exactly.