Favourite Real Estate descriptions

Discussion in 'The Buying & Selling Process' started by CosmicTrevor, 21st Sep, 2015.

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  1. CosmicTrevor

    CosmicTrevor Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    18th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
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    Location:
    Sydney
    I really hate these words;
    1) Stunning
    2) Nestled/nestling

    My interpretation of these words is;

    Stunning = its a box in a concrete tower that has a tiled floor with a new dishwasher, air-conditioning and a balcony. The only way this would be stunning to me is if Jessica Alba or Natalie Portman opened the door (as concierge of course).

    Nestled = its a small box in a concrete tower that has no other redeeming feature so we will find a good word to describe that it is squashed in between other small boxes in the same tower. The only way I would say such a box was nestling is if it laid an egg when the door was opened.

    Any others that grate?
    Trev
     
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  2. Bran

    Bran Well-Known Member

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    20th Jun, 2015
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    3,626
    Location:
    At work
    Astute or savvy.
     
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  3. CosmicTrevor

    CosmicTrevor Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    18th Jun, 2015
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    Location:
    Sydney
    Some others Luxurious / Iconic / Striking, read as;
    Has carpet / in tall building / that is completely out of character with the street scape or suburb.
     
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  4. beachgurl

    beachgurl Well-Known Member

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    Location:
    Sydney
    "Cosy" - ridiculously tiny home
     
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  5. DaveM

    DaveM Well-Known Member

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    14th Jun, 2015
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    3,761
    Location:
    Adelaide & Sydney
    Every commercial listing - EXPOSE YOURSELF
     
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  6. Lil Skater

    Lil Skater Well-Known Member

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    Location:
    Melbourne
    Cosy = can't fit a single bed

    Recently updated = it's had a paint job, but the kitchen is still retro 1970s
     
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  7. S44

    S44 Member

    Joined:
    17th Sep, 2015
    Posts:
    18
    Location:
    Sydney
    -"The one you have been waiting for" on every third ad really ****** me off.

    -The unrenovated, run-down shacks that are described as having "classic charm".

    -Referring to 15-20 year old kitchens and bathrooms as "modern".

    -"In a dress circle location" when in reality it's nothing special at all.
     
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  8. Scott No Mates

    Scott No Mates Well-Known Member

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    Location:
    Sydney or NSW or Australia
    Functional family home - ie it has a bath and bedrooms
     
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  9. CosmicTrevor

    CosmicTrevor Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    18th Jun, 2015
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    Location:
    Sydney
    In need of TLC is code for in need of a bulldozer
     
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  10. Sonamic

    Sonamic Well-Known Member

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    18th Jun, 2015
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    1,340
    Location:
    Sunny QLD
    Located in a zone recommend by experts as a future high growth demand area.
     
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  11. Lil Skater

    Lil Skater Well-Known Member

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    18th Jun, 2015
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    1,109
    Location:
    Melbourne
    Close proximity = it's a 20min drive
     
  12. Biz

    Biz Well-Known Member

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    Location:
    Investard county
    DEVELOPMENT POTENTIAL! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    .......stca


    (vendor has already adjusted the sale price upwards as if they have already done the development themself without lifting a finger.)
     
  13. Scott No Mates

    Scott No Mates Well-Known Member

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    Location:
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    the real estate agent looked at the S149 certificate, checked zoning and the LEP and listed one of the uses which can be achieved STCA eg: childcare centre etc without checking that the site meets any of the other requirements (not sitting in fire zone).
     
  14. Biz

    Biz Well-Known Member

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    Location:
    Investard county
    Crispy kids childcare center.
     
  15. Arnoldus

    Arnoldus Well-Known Member

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    20th Jun, 2015
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    60
    Location:
    Bargara
    "Contract crashed" in the description always makes me wonder what kind of landmine might be lurking for the buyer.
     
  16. Phantom

    Phantom Well-Known Member

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    23rd Jun, 2015
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    2,054
    Location:
    Sydney
    Low Maintenance yard. .......

    It's on a 250Sqm block...there is no yard.
     
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  17. 733

    733 Well-Known Member

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    22nd Jun, 2015
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    567
    Location:
    Brisbane
    I remember an agent selling a property for me trying to have the opening line starting with the word "succulent" lol
     
  18. legallyblonde

    legallyblonde Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    22nd Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    858
    Location:
    TAS
    Unique= FREAKY
     
  19. vtt

    vtt Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    18th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    269
    Location:
    Inner West, Sydney
    Character = may or may not mean decrepit, falling apart, from the 1800s, 1900s, 1960s, 1970s or 1980s. "Character" also includes kitchens and bathrooms containing any or all of avocado green and/or tangerine orange anywhere, repulsive wallpaper and carpets and/or mission brown wood paneling.

    Ignore that word in any listing. It means absolutely nothing.
     
  20. dabbler

    dabbler Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    18th Jun, 2015
    Posts:
    8,572
    Location:
    Sid en e - olympic city
    Express sale = we want as much as we can get and can wait it out
    Market Driven = see above
    Address on Application = we want your details so we can spam you

    I do not know how many vendors read these pages, but the above is some of what I think are the stupidest marketing moves for vendors and only good for agents.

    Not sure of others, but I usually ignore these altogether if no set price.