Do u manage your time well or not ??

I just went to a Psychologist and paid $245 for about 45 minutes of advice.
Advice which wasnt worth it really as it desnt fix my problem about time.

I was told about this " motivational type Pyschologist ' by a website that likens him to DR Phil.

I just run out of time everyday to do things and pricrastinate, for example for over 1 week i have meant to get my work trousers altered at the hems, i had to end up taking 2 days sick off work to get it done the following week .

I rise most mornings at 6am usually spend 15 mins or so at the gym but just getting things done like housework i have no tine for.
My house has been a mess lately as i prefer to go driving on my weekends leavng my clothes on the floor sometimes , i thought everyone did sometimes??
I dont wash the dishes every night .

The psychologist just shouted at me, " get off facebook " , stop using the internet until u have finished your daily chores, washing dishes etc.
Then he said his wife works 80 hour weeks and cooks, cleans and brings up kids too !!
He said theres no such thing As procrastination and said im just lazy ?
Stop making excuses he shouts ,get off your behind and make yourself do it !!

Then he stood up all 6 foot 6 of him and shouted " now dont come back until you cleaned your house !!! (Whilst counting my money)

How do u manage your time and do housework too ?
Just too many things to be done.

 

Why do you need to go to a psychologist to clean your house?!

Get a monthly cleaner with that $245.

Another way to do it is to know how to trick yourself to start. E.g. "I will just pick up this one laundry, and if I don't feel like it, I'll do something else" it's different from everyone.

And stop expecting that you'll be able to do everything. Be ok with some messiness as long as you clean them up later. Trying to do 80 hours a week doing chores is not for everyone.

 

What happened to your German boy?

 

Time management is fairly simple. It is simply a matter of doing what you should be doing (at that moment) even if you don't feel like it.

Nothing wrong with using Facebook, surfing the web or going for a drive if that is what you had planned on doing.
The issue usually lies in the fact that you should be cleaning your house but you just 'check' Facebook and an hour later you haven't achieved anything.

Keep a journal. Note down what you should be doing - and then just do it. Even if you don't feel like it.
Many years ago I thew away my TV set, and haven't had one since. I don't miss it at all.
I recently deleted Facebook. I missed it for about a day.

Let me know where I can send my invoice for $245.

Blacky

 

I procrastinate when know that the job will suck me in and create feelings of frustration. It's generally because those who I have delegated the task to have been less than capable in dealing with the task. It all comes down to me being a perfectionist and expecting perfection from others. It just doesn't happen. I then have to spend time and thought on pulling to job back on track.

Maybe you feel the same about house work. Frustration because to achieve the level of housework requires more time than you are prepared to dedicated to the task so you are getting in a bind. If this is the case you need to lower your standard, which will still be a higher standard than not doing it and employ someone as suggested.

Where I do outsource the task I do have to resign myself to the fact that it will be a lesser result than I would demand of myself. I do employ other and I do deal with the frustrations but the procrastination (on my part) does happen and I am very aware of it.

 

Lmao.

You remind me of our old friend, starofdavid. I wonder how he is

 

Sig worthy.

 

LOLZ that's nothing, I've spent the last 5 months meaning to get my trousers taken up. Tailor is only 10min walk away but never get round to it

Brain Tracy is your voice of reason



Why don't you just hire a maid for a few hours a week to clean up your mess? Or just put your clothes away when you take them off... Sounds like you're reliving your angsty teen years but with adult pressures.

And 15mins in the gym? Do you just check your hair and leave?!

 

All I got from this was that I can get paid for shouting at people.

Also, he sounds like a terrible husband.

Erm, my house is just a mess. Husband helps out a bit.

Or maybe the bottom line from the psychologist is that you should try to get the kind of wife he's got?

 

I really don't know what to say.

 

I'm not surprised. Firstly, going to a Psychologist is not a "quick fix". And you are the one who needs to do the work, not the Psychologist. Unless you are prepared to do the work, don't bother in future.

Ok, no offense but this is a big RED flag.

This is the wrong way to think about this. In this way of thinking you are making excuses and you are a victim. Bottom line is that you made choices and your choices had consequences. Next time you decide between two things, don't just mindlessly launch into your preferred activity. Take a moment to think about what you 'need' and and what you 'want' to do. Then ask yourself this: if I do what I 'want' to do instead of what I 'need' to do, how will I feel about this when I find I have run out of time and the thing I 'needed' to do still isn't done? This concept is called 'delayed gratification'. So you do the thing you 'need' to do first and then you do the thing you 'want' to do after.

This is not true. You choose to do other things that you 'like' doing because you don't like doing housework. You have time to do both. You just need to do them in a different order.

You make choices. Your choices have consequences. You don't like the consequences so you complain about the choices you made. There is a simple solution to this: make different choices!

No, no, no. I very much doubt that you are lazy. Procrastination is not being lazy at all. Procrastination is a bad habit where you choose to do something you like doing instead of doing something that you don't like doing. I will give you an example. I like playing computer games and I don't like emptying the dishwasher. So I play computer and say "I will empty the dishwasher later". Later could be 3 days away. By then the kitchen is full of dirty dishes and stinks. It takes more work to clean up. Making a choice to do one thing instead of another thing is not laziness, it is bad decision making. It is a bad habit that is hard to break.

This is very bad advice. You can make yourself do it once but it won't break you out of your bad habit of making bad choices. You have not learned to 'delay gratification'. You need to learn to do that, to learn to make the choice you need to make instead of the choice you want to make, to break your old habits and form new ones. It will not be easy. It takes discipline. It will take time and practice.

I empty the dishwasher before I play computer

Seriously though, get The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck. This is the exact thing you need.

The Road Less Traveled, published in 1978, is Peck's best-known work, and the one that made his reputation. It is, in short, a description of the attributes that make for a fulfilled human being, based largely on his experiences as a psychiatrist and a person.
The book consists of four parts. In the first part Peck examines the notion of discipline, which he considers essential for emotional, spiritual, and psychological health, and which he describes as "the means of spiritual evolution". The elements of discipline that make for such health include the ability to delay gratification, accepting responsibility for oneself and one's actions, a dedication to truth, and "balancing". "Balancing" refers to the problem of reconciling multiple, complex, possibly conflicting factors that impact on an important decision—on one's own behalf or on behalf of another.​

You need to develop self-discipline so that you can make the choices of what you 'need' to do instead of what you 'want' to do. You need to learn to accept responsibility for yourself and your actions. Learn to be honest with yourself and learn to delay gratification. All of this will take dedication, time and practice. It is an investment in yourself to develop yourself. It will be hard but it will be worth it.

 

It's ok. Someone wrote a book about it.

M. Scott Peck - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Discipline
In The Road Less Traveled, Peck talked of the importance of discipline. He described four aspects of discipline:

• Delaying gratification: Sacrificing present comfort for future gains.
• Acceptance of responsibility: Accepting responsibility for one's own decisions.
• Dedication to truth: Honesty, both in word and deed.
• Balancing: Handling conflicting requirements. Scott Peck talks of an important skill to prioritize between different requirements – bracketing.

Peck’s book begins with the statement "Life is difficult" (Peck, 1978/1992,[6] p13). Peck argues that life was never meant to be easy, and is essentially a series of problems which can either be solved or ignored.
Peck defines discipline as the basic set of tools required to solve life’s problems. He considers these tools to include delaying gratification, assuming responsibility, dedication to the truth, and balancing. Peck argues that these are techniques of suffering, that enable the pain of problems to be worked through and systematically solved, producing growth. He argues that most people avoid the pain of dealing with their problems and suggests that it is through facing the pain of problem solving that life becomes more meaningful.
Delaying gratification is the process by which pain is chosen to be experienced before pleasure. Most learn this activity by the age of five. For example, a six-year-old child will prefer eating the cake first and the frosting last. Children will rather finish their homework first, so that they can play later on. However, a sizable number of adolescents seem to lack this capacity. These problematic students are totally controlled by their impulses. Such youngsters indulge in drugs, get into frequent fights, and often find themselves in confrontation with authority.
Peck states that it is only through taking responsibility and accepting the fact that life has problems, that these problems can then be solved. He argues that Neurosis and character-disorder people represent two opposite disorders of responsibility. Neurotics assume too much responsibility and feel responsible for everything that goes wrong in their life, while character disordered people deny responsibility, blaming others for their problems. Peck writes in the Road Less Traveled that "It is said ‘neurotics make themselves miserable; those with character disorders make everyone else miserable’" (Peck, 1978/1992, p38). Peck argues that everyone is neurotic or character-disordered at some time in their life, and the balance is to avoid both extremes
Dedication to the truth represents the capacity of an individual to modify and update their worldview when exposed to new information discordant with the old view. For example, a bitter childhood can leave a person with the false idea that the world is a hostile and inhuman place. However, with continued exposure to more positive aspects of the world, this existing worldview is challenged and needs to be modified to integrate the new experiences. Peck also argues that dedication to truth implies a life of genuine self-examination, a willingness to be personally challenged by others, and honesty to oneself and others.
Peck considers the use of these interrelated techniques of discipline as paramount, if the difficulties and conflicting requirements of life are to be dealt with and balanced successfully.​

What I really like about this is that he doesn't pretend that it is easy. I am sure that for some, all of this comes naturally. For the rest of us, it really is a struggle.

 

Thank you @Perthguy

 

I know I'm never going to get my time back wasted reading these types of threads, but I just can't help myself putting off jobs around the house and ignoring the family to sit here on my phone and keep refreshing to read the comments .

What does Moshe say about all this?

pinkboy

 

suuuure pinkboy. You do strike me as a particularly undisciplined person I'm sure that attitude got you really far when you were trying to get those world records you wanted! No wait!!! How many world records did you set again?

 

Could do better.

 

Easy, I have a cleaner, it will be cheap to employ a cleaner.
Still not sure why you needed the psychologist in the first place? Perhaps I missed something.

MTR

 

Than whatt????

 

Than I'm capable of

 

In all of my years of being mentored I have learned many a discipline. I will share...

Put off today what you'd rather not do until tomorrow. Better still, delegate.

If you feel the urge to do some work, sit down. It will pass.