Did your kids ruin you chances of financial success ?

There have been several studies that have shown people who don't have kids are happier than those who do.

I am a father of two, I love my kids, always wanted kids and happy with the lifestyle that comes with that, but I am under no illusion that they have been a huge roadblock to growing investments and at times i am accutely aware that I have had to make big sacrifices to my own pusuits, leisure time etc.

Can't be selfish if you want to be an involved parent.

 

Also I see having kids as a bit like a pit-stop. If you get yourself in a good position, go into the pits at the right time, yes you will come out a bit further back but you can hopefully get back on track in good time...

 

With 2 teenage daughters is this a trick question??

 

Absolutely.

110%

We are now at the wonderful grandparent stage. Three successful adult children in their own happy families. Seven grandchildren. 100% self funded retired.

Life has never been better!
Marg

 

You can always get a dog, I actually have 4 daughters if you include my 2 dogs, they don't eat much, they are loyal, they use a doggy door

 

Just to answer the original question...

No I don't believe children hold you back. If you are focused on your goals you will achieve them with or without them. For me I found them to be even more of a motivation to do well. They gave me laser like focus and determination.

When I think of the successful wealthy people I know they all have families. I don't know anyone singles or dinks that are killing it. what I find with a lot of them is they are more focused on the here and now spending money on holidays and socialising. Nothing at all wrong with that, they should be doing what makes them happy.

So yes kids are expensive and yes they could hold you back but having them can also kick you into high gear without you even knowing it.

 

Didn't ruin my chances but certainly put the brakes on going forward and started going in reverse.

• Before kids - earning big bucks in low tax Switzerland. Travelling, climbing & snowboarding a lot. A few weeks in Australia every year.
• After kids - unemployed, working on small projects & investments in high tax Spain. Get to Australia maybe every 2 years.

I don't regret kids life is good with them but I certainly would have been a lot wealthier without them. But happier without them ? I don't think so. When you have enough money for the basics and a bit of travel and activities here and there I'm not sure more wealth brings more happiness.

 

My dad was a budding investor and already had 2 IP's back home. Went to buy 4 more but the mother wanted security with 2 new kids and no debt for the family so they sold up and about a year later, the boom started and prices tripled so kinda feel responsible for that

Haven't discussed kids with the partner of 2 years but think we both want to achieve some sort of decent asset base over the next 3-4 years to give the kids more than we could by slaving away for the next 30 years. They'd definitely be a "hindrance" to that plan as they'd obviously adversely affect servicibilty, cashflow, risk level etc. But as mentioned before, they could motivate us even more... Hard to tell though but for now we'll live vicariously through her sister and play with the niece and nephew. Much easier!

 

From the perspective of a mother who also worked, I wouldn't have kids again. Far too expensive and far too much worry. Caused me huge amounts of ongoing anxiety. Doesn't mean I don't love them or care about them, but wouldn't do it again. But then again, hindsight is everything. I am a realist and don't think the world is a very nice place to bring children into.

It also depends on what sort of parent you want to be (I wanted to be super involved in my kids life) and what sort of career you want. I have 3 degrees, had a very high powered job, travelled everywhere and was determined to achieve in my work and do everything. This just doesn't work well with motherhood unfortunately.

However, I do have money (I worked very hard) and I have no mortgage and some good super and I'm in my 30's. But it was hard work and I can't even begin to explain how f'ed up it all was.

Most mothers I have met, if you ask them honestly, do regret it. But they won't admit it publicly so not sure what answers you will get on here

 

Makes no difference.

I just don't see them. Same money.

 

I hate when people say that. Kids being born now are being born into an amazing time.

 

I said it was my view and what I think (based on my experience). Not very nice of you to hate anything.

It's not 'fact' that kids are being born into an amazing time at all - that's just your opinion...

 

The reality is in fact that no one that has ever had kids will ever stick their hand up and say they regret it, unless maybe under extenuating circumstances

 

Some very interesting perspectives.

My wife and I choose not to have kids many years ago when we embarked on our corporate careers. For us health and money are way more important than having kids. We enjoy being able to purchase and do things when we want because our circumstances allow this. A lot of hard work and sacrifices were made to get us here and for us, having kids would have got in the way and diverted our attention to achieving our goals. It would not have been fair having kids as we both wouldn't have given them the attention that they deserve (which is something that we recognised early on).

This is only our perspective and I respect each person choices for their own circumstances.

 

Sure there have been some great advances in health and education.. although technology has improved our lifestyles to a point. Somehow we managed to survive without mobile phones growing up? Generally I think our lives have become more complicated.. so many other issues we now have to deal with.. e.g. online grooming, cyber bullying, kids being attached to a device rather than outside playing..

If I could take a time machine with my family (including our now 6 day old daughter ), back to the 80's, I would.

 

I would say that there are many out there that aren't maternal or paternal so therefore don't want kids. And that is a perfectly fine way to be - no one should feel pressured to have kids when they have no desire to. For them it may well be easier to invest.
This question from OP isn't about whether you want or not want to have kids. But whether kids and a successful investment life are mutually exclusive.
To me (who did want to have kids) they aren't.

 

I had to face some uncomfortable realities and acknowledge that I am somewhat selfish and I enjoy my life with my wife as it is. We took ownership of our choices and currently prefer to focus on each other and enjoy our journey through life together. We work hard on our careers and enjoy our leisure time together immensely. We appreciate the benefits of our lifestyle, travel, spontaneous dates, dinners for two, concerts, events, etc. We are under no illusions and understand that children would bring a completely different dynamic to our relationship. It would require a massive sacrifice to both our personal time together and would likely affect us financially, certainly there would be an impact to our loan serviceability according to the banks. We imagine children would bring a completely different focus into our lives, whereas currently our focus is on each other and investing. We are really happy with the way things are progressing, and not ready to change it...yet. Who knows, we may reach a time where we feel differently, and by then it may be too late, but we are realistic and aware of the possibility and comfortable with choosing to focus on investing in property and each other as a priority.

As always, your mileage may vary.

 

I rather be pushing a pram at 50 than at 25. My first was at 44.

 

A friend just had his first at 51. Everything happens later these days, not too old. My 20s and 30s were free to do a lot of other things.