Coronavirus Humour

Discussion in 'COVID-19' started by TMNT, 29th Jan, 2020.

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  1. geoffw

    geoffw Moderator Staff Member

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    geoffw, 12th Mar, 2020
    #21
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  2. MTR

    MTR Well-Known Member

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    MTR, 12th Mar, 2020
    #22
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  3. geoffw

    geoffw Moderator Staff Member

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    The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.
     
    geoffw, 13th Mar, 2020
    #23
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  4. turk

    turk Well-Known Member

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    I just went went to Starbucks and the barista was wearing a face mask.

    So I asked him why are you wearing a surgical mask?

    He said I'm not, it's a coughy filter.
     
    turk, 14th Mar, 2020
    #24
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  5. Scott No Mates

    Scott No Mates Well-Known Member

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    My local doctor is also an overseas trained barista, he can't get out of the habit of asking 'one shot or two?'
     
    Scott No Mates, 14th Mar, 2020
    #25
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  6. geoffw

    geoffw Moderator Staff Member

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    What's the difference between to coronavirus and the B737-Max?

    The Coronavirus is airborne.
     
    geoffw, 14th Mar, 2020
    #26
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  7. geoffw

    geoffw Moderator Staff Member

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    Where have all the flours gone?
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    geoffw, 15th Mar, 2020
    #27
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  8. Scott No Mates

    Scott No Mates Well-Known Member

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    The Chinese government has announced 104 new live birthed Pandas this week sad the successful outcome of a new breeding program for the endangered species.

    WHO has pronounced another Panda-demic.
     
    Scott No Mates, 15th Mar, 2020
    #28
  9. geoffw

    geoffw Moderator Staff Member

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    geoffw, 15th Mar, 2020
    #29
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  10. The Y-man

    The Y-man Moderator Staff Member

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    The Y-man, 16th Mar, 2020
    #30
  11. geoffw

    geoffw Moderator Staff Member

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    The updated version of The Sound of Silence. It's quite good.
     
    Last edited: 17th Mar, 2020
    geoffw, 16th Mar, 2020
    #31
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  12. MicrowaveJenny

    MicrowaveJenny Well-Known Member

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    I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"

    She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"

    I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here"
     
    MicrowaveJenny, 17th Mar, 2020
    #32
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  13. geoffw

    geoffw Moderator Staff Member

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    For a limited time Port Macquarie Library will be displaying its collection of rare papers.
    Poop on down when you get a chance.
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    geoffw, 17th Mar, 2020
    #33
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  14. geoffw

    geoffw Moderator Staff Member

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    I've always been told that it's good to be with people who are positive. Not now.
     
    geoffw, 17th Mar, 2020
    #34
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  15. MangoMadness

    MangoMadness Well-Known Member

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    A few years ago in Redcliffe hospital in the maternity ward there was a drinks machine and the advertisement on the front was "Think Positive".

    I immediately thought that I hope a similar machine wasn't in the infectious diseases ward.

    Similar to this one
    [​IMG]
     
    MangoMadness, 17th Mar, 2020
    #35
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  16. geoffw

    geoffw Moderator Staff Member

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    geoffw, 18th Mar, 2020
    #36
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  17. geoffw

    geoffw Moderator Staff Member

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    I won't show the original meme for this, it's too political. But the sentiment is good.

    Wash your hands like you've just shaken hands with ** insert name of politician **
     
    geoffw, 18th Mar, 2020
    #37
  18. Lizzie

    Lizzie Well-Known Member

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    I prefer the version ... wah your hands as if you've been cutting chili's and need to put in a contract lense ... or ... for the blokes ... need to take a wiz
     
    Lizzie, 18th Mar, 2020
    #38
  19. croseks

    croseks Well-Known Member

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    croseks, 18th Mar, 2020
    #39
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  20. geoffw

    geoffw Moderator Staff Member

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    It depends on which option would bring the most tears to your eyes if you didn't wash your hands properly.
     
    geoffw, 18th Mar, 2020
    #40
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