Children come Adults question again......

Discussion in 'Living Room' started by MTR, 22nd May, 2017.

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  1. Sackie

    Sackie Well-Known Member

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    I would want my kids to marry someone who has very similar values to them. If they do that then that's a very good start with many things that will fall into place.
     
    Sackie, 22nd May, 2017
    #21
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  2. Ace in the Hole

    Ace in the Hole Well-Known Member

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    If your daughter is like you, she'll probably end up leaving someone like that with no ambition sometime down the track.
     
    Ace in the Hole, 22nd May, 2017
    #22
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  3. Sackie

    Sackie Well-Known Member

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    You can't treat a girl like a queen on a public servant's wage with no ambition. Tiffany's said so. :p
     
    Sackie, 22nd May, 2017
    #23
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  4. Phase2

    Phase2 Well-Known Member

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    ...so she has to pick someone like you? :):) Apparently that's common for daughters to do anyway.

    whimpy-ness and slobbish-ness are both poor character traits so no surprises that you'd not want them.
     
    Phase2, 22nd May, 2017
    #24
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  5. Ace in the Hole

    Ace in the Hole Well-Known Member

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    Well, I'm trying to set the best example I can :)
    I'm pretty sure I'm going to really tough on my daughters future boyfriends.
    There will be some tests and challenges to pass.
     
    Ace in the Hole, 22nd May, 2017
    #25
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  6. Jess Peletier

    Jess Peletier Mortgage Broker & Finance Strategy, Aus Wide! Business Member

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    A low wage isn't an issue if there's ambition - and when I say ambition, I mean work ethic and determination, rather than wishing for a higher paid job.

    It also depends on the age - a low wage at 20 is to be expected, at 40 not so much.
     
    Jess Peletier, 22nd May, 2017
    #26
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  7. Sackie

    Sackie Well-Known Member

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    Sackie, 22nd May, 2017
    #27
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  8. MTR

    MTR Well-Known Member

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    I totally get this one.
    My partner and I were both on low incomes when we met and it never stopped us from forging ahead
    All you need is drive, determination and courage. I must admit though its kind of nice that her partner is already on the right track and has set himself up at only 30 years.

    MTR:)
     
    MTR, 22nd May, 2017
    #28
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  9. MTR

    MTR Well-Known Member

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    I am going to throw the cat amongst the pigeons..... What do parents want for their sons in terms of partner? Is it different than what parents want for their daughters?
     
    MTR, 22nd May, 2017
    #29
  10. wylie

    wylie Moderator Staff Member

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    With three sons, I'll bite. I want my sons to find partners that support them, challenge them if they act badly, love them and allow them to be themselves. I'd like to think I can have a good relationship with the partners, and the two sons with partners have amazing partners that we do have good relationships with.

    Money doesn't come into the equation. But attitude towards what each brings to the table does come into it. I guess my mother-in-law may well have thought that I was going to be a lazy stay at home mother when that was the choice I made (and hubby fully supported me in it). She might well think that I stayed at home whilst her darling son was working hard at the office. (She was initially a SAHM but went back to work when her youngest was in high school - so she's done both).

    What she may not realise (and likely would never acknowledge) is that the wealth we have made is almost solely down to me, my decisions, my planning, organising, pushing to purchase IPs. Hubby knows it, and openly acknowledges it to me. She doesn't have a clue what we own and we don't discuss it.

    But she knows her darling son "retired" aged 50 and probably wonders what we live on.
     
    wylie, 22nd May, 2017
    #30
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  11. MTR

    MTR Well-Known Member

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    Thats amazing
     
    MTR, 22nd May, 2017
    #31
  12. kierank

    kierank Well-Known Member

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    If my daughter's or son's future partner stated that "housing was not affordable", I would turf them out :).
     
    kierank, 22nd May, 2017
    #32
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  13. EN710

    EN710 Well-Known Member

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    No. I think most parents want the best things for their children and financially insecure partner can throw some issues in the mix.

    Might come down to different culture? I grew up with families telling me to marry rich guy and spend their... our money :p
    I also know when families chat in their social circle, they gossip about who get rich in-laws, how much they earn, what brand of bags the inlaws gave them etc etc. The parents usually ended up coming back to their children demanding them to find rich partners o_O
     
    EN710, 22nd May, 2017
    #33
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  14. Sackie

    Sackie Well-Known Member

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    Her own jealousy/insecurity. Not your problem.

    In the harsh world we live in now, I would want my child to marry someone who is as successful as possible or has the skills/ambitions/education to want to make something of themselves. Of course they have to treat them well and love them, but I wouldn't want my child to marry a bum with no prospects.

    And goes without saying they need to be liberal voters. :D
     
    Last edited: 22nd May, 2017
    Sackie, 22nd May, 2017
    #34
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  15. Xenia

    Xenia Well-Known Member

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    Marry who you want for love
    Depend on no one financially
    Have a prenup and do your own thing.

    If I was to ever do it again, I would choose someone who's wealth matched mine so that my wealth is not put at risk.
    And I would choose someone who is committed to self development and is evolved spiritually (I can tell within 5 minutes).

    In other words I'm going to stay married because my choices are limited right there.
     
    Xenia, 22nd May, 2017
    #35
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  16. HUGH72

    HUGH72 Well-Known Member

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    I think the year was 1996? I was only just starting out in my career after years of study and training, the position was a starting point nothing more. I'll never forget when my future MIL asked "how much do you earn?". After I answered she asked "how will you support my daughter?":oops:
    I was only 24 at the time, what did she expect? Her daughter was already established in her career and had already bought a house.
    Within 11 years I was earning x10 that salary. So short sighted on her behalf, I understand her concern at the time but her approach was demeaning and really annoyed me.

    For my daughter and son's I hope they meet someone who loves them, treats them well, is stable and a isn't carrying emotional baggage. Hopefully they are driven and motivated to succeed. If they are in their early-mid 20s then it is unrealistic to expect them to be wealthy.
    If they are then that's good but that's not going to maintain any relationship on its own.
     
    HUGH72, 22nd May, 2017
    #36
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  17. MTR

    MTR Well-Known Member

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    Interesting, I get this, some probably say this is very harsh, but I think what you are saying is smart and has a lot to do with experience.

    Many marriages don't work because people grow apart.

    MTR:)
     
    MTR, 22nd May, 2017
    #37
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  18. Angel

    Angel Well-Known Member

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    prospective wife for 28 year old son. She must be fit, healthy, smart, attractive and smart.
     
    Angel, 22nd May, 2017
    #38
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  19. MTR

    MTR Well-Known Member

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    she's taken...lol
     
    MTR, 22nd May, 2017
    #39
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  20. Angel

    Angel Well-Known Member

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    He cant afford your daughter.
     
    Angel, 22nd May, 2017
    #40
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