Can you really help people who can not manage MONEY?

People say they want to save money... Just like those stereotypical girlies just want to date a nice guy for a change...

They don't want to... They know they should... They think they want to... But in reality they are living for the now and damn the consequences... They will later say they wish they had been more sensible ect.

 

LOL!

That's like us giving away free time or very reduced fees to fix someones car - that they have completely mis-maintained for years.

But; we get it all the time; want us to spend a half hour or hour to diagnose their problem, but expect to not have to pay for the diagnostic...horrified when I tell them there is a fee.

You know; like how you can go to the doctor for a check-up because you are not feeling well - and he does it all for free, right?

 

I see this all the time with friends and colleagues and of course tenants. The whole pay check to pay check way of life. How many of you have had tenants request the rent due on the same day they get paid? This seems to be the only way they can manage to pay it because if it was a few days later they would't have the money

I have a colleague who has no idea at all about saving, I have tried to help with advice but I don't see any change happening. She doesn't understand the difference of wants and needs. Will spend $1000 on her kid for Xmas, yet her car is on it's last legs needing a couple of hundred in repairs and may not get her to work today...

With friends I have noticed we fall into 2 main groups for what we spend on, investments and travelling. We are mostly late 20's now and as all the marriages and children come along we are in very different financial places. I am happy I fell into the investor group as I see a much easier path ahead, go back to part time work in 30's, watch the rent come in each week while I'm in some other country. While the travellers start their family with nothing behind them (some good experiences and memories I admit), then drop back to a single income. I am concerned they will be playing catch up for decades as they rely on a wage as their only income and have so many expenses that saving a deposit seems unrealistic. Can't help them now, but I hope to see change so they can live a bit easier at old age.

 

Hi Ken, I understand your concept of rebates, but it's still essentially giving away your services for free or at the very least, a deep discount. Could even be seen as a bribe by the more cynical among us.

You know, like: "Psst, use my services, I'll charge you upfront, but if you stick with me, I'll hand some of that money back to you later on!"

To me, offering services for free or through rebates is a sign from said service provider that they do not have any respect for themselves, their business, their time or their clients.

 

Or you are forced to get it because you have no alternatives. I understand that Australian lending practices have become more difficult.......but they are still far more lenient than the US.

In the US, you cannot get a credit card without a decent credit score.....let alone a mortgage. You cannot rent or buy a home without a credit score. You have no access to borrowed funds until you prove that you are responsible with your money, and then second, prove you have a track record to paying off your debts and thirdly......and way last, prove you can afford it. Affordability of loan servicing is truly an after thought.

I commend you moridog for living and ultimately coming through the tough times.

Unfortunately, the system doesn't allow or support anyone going through short period of extraordinary times. It would be really nice if consideration to your past ability to pay was a measure of your future.....but the reality is that lenders won't take that chance. And it is understandable.

Our family has had to start again in the US........and it is frustrating, but I get it. Lending rules are there for the majority......and you just have to figure out how to move forward.

Or you hire someone like jess-peletier.62 to figure it out for you.

 

With financial stuff, there needs to first be a change on the inside before anything external can manifest. I know people who used to buy lottery tickets to win a home..it was their dream. .when I was 10 years old. Today ( after 20 years) I know at least 2 of them are still renting.

 

You can give people the right tools but they have to use them.

Arm them with knowledge, do up a budget in Excel with projected savings for them that way they can play around with the figures and see "If I only spend $70 a day instead of $100 a day I will save $X by the end of the month.

Get them to enter big ticket expenses like dream cars and holidays and have formulas in there showing how much they are chipping away at it.

I used to be a massive spender because I didn't have any insight into what my money was doing, now it's all in Excel and I can open it at any time and see where I am at. Nothing makes me want to save more than being able to project what impact my saving will have.

If I get time I will take out the personal information from my budget and upload it if you want a copy, it's fairly self maintaining and has amortisation sections in for projected loan repayments and the like.

*Bolded part bolded because I believe this to be the most common reason for peoples spending habits getting out of control, they simply have no insight into it.

 

In the past I used to try help people but it didn't work, for all the reasons mentioned here.

I had a good friend housemate (who always paid rent on payday or he wouldn't have enough) on similar income who'd occasionally mention that I'm lucky to have a house. I'd often reply he could too but he'd never accept or agree because he thought I earned far more than him and we agreed that I'd try help him.

We started by opening my finances and spreadsheets. He freaked out that I just 'left' money sitting in the bank (offset), was driving a 10 year old car, wasn't living the high life. He said he couldn't leave money unspent.

We tried starting a few plans including one where he'd give me an amount every week to help him save and pay off his credit cards, cut up the credit cards and begin slowly fixing his finances, call off the collections agents and start planning for the future.

That lasted a few weeks, until the collections letters and calls stopped, then he went back to his old ways.

15 years later, he's still the same.

 

As a person on a journey from footloose to frugal I know it can be done, but it is easy to relapse into old habits. Keep focusing on the goal is what has helped me.

 

“John, you have to come over here, I found so much gold I can’t possibly use it all”

“But I don’t have a shovel”

“Go get you one”

“Do you know what they charge for a shovel these days?”

Jim Rohn quote.......reminds me of trying to provide money management advice to those that really need it!

I don't really say much anymore, other then small injects.

 

Perhaps it can be done, but its very hard to get to this point, only going from what I have seen

I somethings wonder whether they need to lose the lot before they make some serious changes??

 

It's not always about $$$

 

I don't think they 'lose' it. They just end up not owning anything, and by then it is always too late.

 

I'm renovating and starting a business atm. I've totally lost all concept of where my money is going each week. All I know is my bank balance seems to be in free fall. Well maybe more a steep decline. But it definitely needs some attention. My missus is a pretty poor money manager and that stresses me out. Im considering seeing "my budget". More so to help my partner than myself, but I definitely need to tighten up the spending also.

Has anyone used or known someone that's used "my budget"?

Cheers,
Clint

 

That is very common. Some people do it in a way that doesn't look excessive or noticeable, but having had a friend who had an addictive personality and would spend unnecessarily (excessively at times. Not expensive things, often it was just hoarding heaps of stuff from $2 shops, 10 t shirts all in different colors from big w that were $5 each), I am aware of the signs and can see that lots of people around me exhibit signs. It's not excessive. It's just having new clothing, shoes, jewelry every week, hand bags. Not expensive stuff. they also buy for others every chance they get because (I am guessing) it allows them to fuel the addiction in a way that is selfless and kind, and it can also play out in grocery chopping too. Buying way more than one needs and shopping excessively.

It can be fixed. The person needs to fix themselves though. We can't do it for them and the more we try and rescue them the less need they have to rescue themself.

 

If this friend ever has to move, (s)he will hopefully wake up and realise how much unnecessary stuff (s)he has.

 

Many people I know say they want to better manage their finances but very few are prepared to make key changes required that would markedly improve their financial position. Most spend up to, or slightly more, than they earn and consider most such expenditure essential to their happiness. It is easy to fall into this trap, with a financial system fixated on growth and a matching marketing system that works hard to convert our insecurities/vulnerabilities/greed/envy/desires/wants into supposed needs.

Very few can see that we live in times of gross abundance compared to our ancestors and that basic essential living costs (ie. food, water, shelter, security) and a few modern comforts can be had for less than half an average household's income without significantly detracting from happiness, leaving oodles of money to save for a rainy day and invest for a financially free future.

In my experience, if people cannot grasp the above basic concept, ie. treat finances from a perspective of gratitude rather than servitude, then there is little they will do to change the way they manage their money and improve their situation.

 

No, my mother-in-law and my mother both failed to see that point.

 

Just now I went to someones house to buy a tall boy/ chest of drawers that she had listed on gumtree. Omg... there was so much stuff in her place, display cabinets full of crystal glassware, another that looked like it had a lot of shells on display... the family had been there for 30 years she said...

 

what is it ? hoarders..?