Calling tight arses

Yeah... we coown the house, he's always had a significantly higher salary than me. We split shared bills 50:50 (ie. Council, electricity, water, gas, car) which if you think about it is unfair on the lower income earner. Thats me.

Anyway, with my investing I'm now financially much better off than him but it gives me equity more than cashflow so my cashflow has always been lower than his.
I don't care so much on the inequitable bill splitting so much any more but when I didn't have so much wealth I really thought the bills should have been divided based on income levels...

 

Skater we have similar husbands husband. Works well as veryone works to their strengths and interest.

 

Husband and I have really good incomes, but generally we are not huge spenders, not necessary tight asses either. We buy pretty much what we want, but we do not 'want' that much. All our furniture is good quality furniture but purchased secondhand from eBay or gumtree. But both of us buy lunch everyday due to laziness and time constraints. Evenings we have better things to do than starting to make lunches for the next day. But we rarely buy take a way coffees at work because free coffee machine coffees tastes good enough.

We always buy house brand basic items in supermarkets. Coles branded tomato paste is as good if not better than 'name brand'. But we do not watch prices when buying main ingredients. E.g if I feel like cooking chicken tonight, I buy chicken regardless if on special or not. We do not feel that we miss out of anything or do huge sacrifices due to our lifestyle or savings, so I would not call us tight asses, even if I know that we spend much less than many of our colleagues or friends. It's more lifestyle by our choice, than anything else.

 

So, when he had more wealth then you you felt he should have paid more of the bills but now you have more wealth the bills should be evenly split?

You realise that between this thread and the ones involving your poor folks you don't come across very well don't you?

As you mentioned he earns over 100k a year and you have issues with him buying lean mince or staying in a hotel on occasion on holiday?? Stop and smell the roses sometime, life isn't all about investing and penny pinching

 

For everybody with supportive partners.... you are very blessed.

This is a thread about tight arses, so I am contributing my tight arse ways. As for spending up big on a holiday.... a night in Canberra (we went down for the womens grand prix volleyball) and he wanted to spend up the dollars on the hotel. I'm saving for the next IP purchase, and my cash is very thin on the ground here... actually it will be negative.... i'm flying by the seat of my pants so I need to be frugal. Think about this. If you earnt 50k pa and your partner earnt 100k pa, do you think equal bill splitting is fair?

My wealth is not cashflow. Its all tied up assets. But all built up while we are together. I've been encouraging him to invest over all these years but he doesn't do anything to change that situation. So anyway, equal bill splitting stays.

 

Gockie, good luck with your partnership. I can not imagine that a couple can have so different spending and investment habits and not having constant arguments over money. Good on you that you have managed to get it working. I am not sure if I would have been able to.

 

Call me old fashioned, but............to me a partnership is two people living and sharing as one. No his money and my money, but our money. We work as a team. If he goes to the supermarket, he'll often buy different 'stuff' to what I'd buy, but that's fine. He'll spend more on 'stuff' because he would rather things be fast & convenient, while I will often look for better value, but we don't have arguments about it. It is what it is.

As for big purchases, we actually TALK to one another and listen and respect each others opinion. As for property, well over time he's become just as obsessed as me. I created a monster.

 

Having known you both for a few years now, I would love to be a fly on the wall during one of these discussions

 

I used to work with a guy who would only shower and charge his phone at work to save on water and electricity, and when taking girls out on dates he would "forget" his wallet so he wouldn't have to pay for the meal! From memory he had about 60k in his bank account as a 21 year old UNI student...

 

I have trouble reconciling the concept of "my" earnings and "his" earnings with "partner". To me, that's a housemate that you sleep with, not a partner. If you're partners, it's all "ours".

Edit: I don't want to start a debate on whether that's the "right" or "wrong" way to handle finances, at all. I know couples who keep their money separate despite having great relationships. I'm just being open and acknowledging that I can't answer this hypothetical question posed by Gockie because the whole paradigm is so alien to my thinking.

 

The whole money over everything attitude including family and supposed loved ones makes me nauseous

 

I agree. I have difficulties to comprehend that 'partners' can have different lifestyles inside partnerships depending on their income levels. Call me old fashioned but for us everything is 'ours'...

 

Congrats Skater. He's a nice bloke that Bargain hunter!!

My partner may finally come around on the property investing... however I have offered to find him a place up in Brissie but he still is saying no at this point in time...

For us I reckon we should not expect to pay for each others shopping. We eat different things anyway (he's European and eats bread, cheese, proscuttio. I lean more Asian in my food and have more noodles etc). Everything else i'm good with. And where to stay on holidays is always a compromise.

 

He was the one who decided to keep all finances separate in the beginning! I was shocked initially but now I'm good with it.

And Perp. Yes, it was an Alien thought to me too...

 

As Perp mentioned there is no right or wrong ways and you guys clearly have got it working for you, so it can be done. Good on you , I am not sure that I would have been able to do so without constant arguments over money.

 

My Girlfriend from 18-25 didn't want to be involved in investing. She just wanted a new house in a new estate close to her mum and sisters houses, was not comfortable with debt for investments.
I totally understand that and there is no problem with that.
My current GF of 3 years now was similar but I don't think I brain washed her, but exposed her to things she never thought of, so she has taken interest herself ( not me preaching to her) in property, read several books and even comes home from work and tells me the conversations and advice she has given to assist her friends at work who are not investment savy at all and I have been impressed. I could buy a few places and twist her arm, but if she Has different life goals and debt and property gets in the way of that it may not create issues now but it sure will compound into issues in years to come. Last thing you want is a partner being resentful because you made them save and not go on massive holidays because you bought property.

Partners/spouses can create difficulties in your investment journey but they can also benefit it to no end.

 

Yes, I feel exactly the same way.

 

It's working, I guess couples with joint finances will sometimes have big issues of one partner spending more of the money than the other so I guess its not just a spilt finance issue. Its a 2 people with largely different attitude to money issue... if money is joint and one person wants to spend and the other save then I can see all hell will break loose.

I'm lucky that we are well off.

 

Couldn't go on massive holidays couldnt be further from the truth for us... we went on a 3 week cruise/4 week holiday all up on the Mediterranean in 2012 I think and subsequently NZ for 2 weeks, South Pacific 10 days... plus plenty of Aus travel too. I just think spending so much on hotels wasteful when you can enjoy the locations just as much while staying at places that don't cost an arm and a leg.

We are very lucky to have a comfortable life.
If anything though I really did find having to give up the extra gains on the properties I would have bought so painful (they would have doubled by now)... anyway its in the past. I just have to work within the boundaries I have.

 

There is always the ones you remember that your should have bought. I spew about certain suburbs I didn't follow my gut with.

We are lucky also, both professionals under 30, no kids, my mortgage is cheaper than rent. I goto cairns once a month to visit my parents from melb and we are going to Europe in 5 weeks time.
The start really is the hard part. We plan to build some buffer and equity the rest of this year, get the rents up on our properties and buy again next year (hopefully a few lol).