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Best comebacks ever

Discussion in 'Living Room' started by Lizzie, 8th Oct, 2015.

  1. Lizzie

    Lizzie Well-Known Member

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    Post the best "comeback" you ever heard ... I enjoy watching The Block revel nights, but had to watch last night after seeing the promo ... mid argument between Suzi and Whitney ...

    Suzi (told us a million times that she's an ex-goldcoast bikini model, has giant fake knockers and likes to flash ample cleavage at the male tradies): blah blah blah ... go and eat another burger!

    Whitney (short and tubby female contestant): Why don't you just pop your tits!

    Don't know it was just me - but that's the best comeback I have every heard

    http://www.news.com.au/entertainmen...ion-on-the-block/story-fn8yvfst-1227560782183
     
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  2. wylie

    wylie Moderator Staff Member

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    I love the Churchill one where a woman says "Sir, if I was married to you, I'd put poison in your drink" and his reply "Madam, if I was married to you I'd drink it". Plenty of similar ones that we hear but I can never remember them.
     
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  3. D.T.

    D.T. Adelaide Property Manager Business Member

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    I reckon the best come back lines came from the game of cricket.

    Whilst fielding, Mark Waugh said to English batsman James Ormond "what are you doing out here, you're too ****" to which James replied "Maybe so, but at least i'm the best player in my family"

    There's been countless others, the "Gentlemans Game" has quite the sledging going on.
     
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  4. wylie

    wylie Moderator Staff Member

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    One I heard this week on Phil and Kirsty's love it or list it show (which isn't nearly as good as the Canadian one), was when Kirsty won and they were at the pub where he had to shout the drinks. He took out his wallet and she commented that it was a "lesser spotted wallet". I quite liked that.
     
  5. Propertunity

    Propertunity Exclusive Real Estate Buyers Agent Business Member

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    I love Winston too. My fav:
    Braddock encountered an intoxicated Churchill and said “Sir, you are drunk.” He replied:
    "And you, Bessie, are ugly. But I shall be sober in the morning, and you will still be ugly."
     
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  6. House

    House Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    [​IMG]

    Someone call the Burns Unit.
     
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  7. Baker

    Baker Well-Known Member

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  8. Ed Barton

    Ed Barton Well-Known Member

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    Churchill - "You can always rely on the Americans to do the right thing. After they've tried everything else"
     
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  9. Hodge

    Hodge Well-Known Member

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    For those that don't know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an "Australian treasure!"

    General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently. You'll love his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of an ABC interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters.

    FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
    So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

    GENERAL COSGROVE:
    We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.

    FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
    Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

    GENERAL COSGROVE:
    I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

    FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
    Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

    GENERAL COSGROVE:
    I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

    FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
    But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

    GENERAL COSGROVE:
    Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?
     
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  10. Heinz57

    Heinz57 Well-Known Member

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    To the worst waiter ever. Really he was worse than Manuel in Fawlty Towers:

    "You sir are depriving a village somewhere of an Idiot"
     
  11. Redwing

    Redwing Well-Known Member

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    Geez Hodge, you need to check Snopes and other such sites, funny but untrue

    The claim in the message is untrue. General Cosgrove has never made any such remark in any interview. The message is a recycled version of earlier US and UK based versions that have circulated for a number of years.
     
  12. legallyblonde

    legallyblonde Well-Known Member

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    I am particularly tall..There was this sour lady (who is not so tall) I use to work with who was really nasty towards me... Everytime she said something mean I would dramatically bend my knees and lean over and say 'sorry what was that?'

    Another day she said something nasty about my being single (something about me being single forever because I am intolerable)... My personal favourite... Mock sadness "You are right... It is so hard being a tall blonde law student"

    All is well that ends well! Karma has royally paid her back! She was one of those people that couldn't stand friendly people and wanted to bring everyone down to wallow at her level of misery.
     
  13. sanj

    sanj Well-Known Member

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    Yeah thats a classic and certainly witty. "Why dont u go pop your tits"sounds like something said at nearly every bogan pub in the country
     
  14. geoffw

    geoffw Moderator Staff Member

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    A colleague once told me "I need a screwdriver".

    I said "maybe you do, but don't call me driver".
     
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  15. Scott No Mates

    Scott No Mates Well-Known Member

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    In federal parliament many years ago during a slanging match a polly temarked that a member of the opposite side '...had the brains of a sheep". The speaker pulled up the member to retract the statement. So the retraction was...."I'm sorry Mr Speaker, I stand corrected....The honorable member for xyz does not have the brains of a sheep".
     
  16. LibGS

    LibGS Well-Known Member

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    From Bill Hicks...he would argue with his brother and say to him, "I don't have to do anything if I don't want to". His brother responded, "Yeah you do, you gotta take up space."
     
  17. York

    York Finance Broker Business Member

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    A boss said to his lazy employee 'I know you don't like being here, would you at least PRETEND you're doing something?' The employee replied with 'I have a better idea, how about I continue to do nothing and you PRETEND I'm actually doing something!!'