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Being mentally tough

Discussion in 'Investor Psychology' started by Darlinghurst Boy, 16th Jul, 2015.

  1. Darlinghurst Boy

    Darlinghurst Boy Well-Known Member

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    Im going to be the first to admit im not.
    Its hard work mentally negotiationing ,going to inspections, arranging finance etc etc
    How many of you do find it tough going sometimes.
    Building resilience is the key.
     
  2. Perthguy

    Perthguy Well-Known Member

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    I have quite specific requirements, so the hardest part for me is sourcing quality properties to inspect. I mostly love looking for them, but find it a grind after looking at hundreds or thousands online. However, I love inspecting, love negotiating and love landing a great deal. I'm tough though. On two of my deals the agents have lowered their commission to get the deal done ;)

    I don't have a problem arranging finance because I have a great mortgage broker to get the job done for me. I just have to work out the best deal and kick him up the butt if he doesn't do the best deal around. That side of things is definitely a team effort. I'm looking for my next deal now. I'm expecting it to take up to 12 months. I will find some of it tough between now and then, so you are not alone.
     
  3. Darlinghurst Boy

    Darlinghurst Boy Well-Known Member

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    Yes going to inspections, arranging finance, signing docs,waiting for this for that all has its toll.
    I think this is where goal planning comes into and motivation to achieve that goal.

    Being strong , being able to take negativity,building resilience.

    Is it learned or born with? Some are stronger than others?
    There are some at my work who have other jibs driving a cab on a weekend for example , how do they get the energy and drive and resilence to keep going .

    This is where people give up on property investing, it gets too difficult .

    Building mental toughness i guess is to be exposed to tough situations, to be able to keep going
    Can you build mental toughness or is it born with.

    Some of you say your mentally tough and resilient.

    What if I was to get you to drive a taxi on a nightshift in the worst areas of Your city for 3 months ,could you do it? Could you stuck out that month putting up with drunks, runners, vomiters , people abusing you because you dont know their street,, people who have no money.
    Could you make/force yourself to become resilient?
    would you be a more stronger person after that month?

    And thats how you build resilience and mental toughness.

    Im about to take my 5 week annual leave from work in October 2015.
    I have decided to get my Newcastle taxi drivers licence in the next few weeks(no i dont live there)
    I use to drive in Newcastle NSW in my university days 25 years ago.

    I will go there with the intention of finding property but also to TEST myself as i drive into the crowded CBD in the early hours of the weekend mornings to pick up drunks, groups of drunken guys etc to force myself to be mentally tough.
    I will even have to ask to see the money first in most cases.
    I wont know the area apart from doing a written test beforehand.
    I will have to force myself to be polite to be firm in some cases to agree with everything someone is saying.
    One of the most thrilling exciting feelings i ever had in my life (even better than an orgasm)was during that period in 1989/1990 when i was driving a cab there was driving into the Newcastle CBD in the early hours of weekend mornings where there were hundreds of people hailing taxis and having that fear feeling not knowing if the next passengers could bash stab run vomit on you.
    Sometimes i would test my mental toughness out by stopping for the roughest looking blokes and pucking them up.
    They would be shocked as astonished as i stopped my cab in the early hours for them rather than the 3 blonde girls hailing a cab up the road.

    After their shock they would hop in one in the front two in the back with their breathe reeking of alcohol and in slurred speech would shout "Windale mate"!!
    I could feel the alcohol breathe of the guy sitting right behind my drivers seat, the excitement of fear not knowing at anytime he choke me or put a knife thru the seat started to thrill me as i drove along.

    Most times they didnt want to pay and wanted to argue,Thats when my mental toughness had to come in and i had to be friendly but firm too.

    This is the only way for me to become mentally tough again i believe.
     
    Last edited: 16th Jul, 2015
  4. Azazel

    Azazel Well-Known Member

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    Negotiating is the fun part. Going to inspections is Ok. Finance can be a bit stressful, especially with the uncertainty with the changes happening.
    If you find that you're staying awake at night thinking about it, or waking up early thinking about it, you need to change something, or change the way you deal with it. Think why you're doing it - and try to enjoy the journey! You don't have to be mentally 'tough' as in hard, but like the reed in the wind. "the oak, which trusts in its strength to withstand the storm and is blown over, and the reed that 'bends with the wind' and so survives."
     
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  5. Darlinghurst Boy

    Darlinghurst Boy Well-Known Member

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    I just find these guys going to those boot camps to be wasting their dosh.
    Climbing ropes etc doesnt make you mentally tough .
     
  6. WattleIdo

    WattleIdo renovating Premium Member

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    Having a purpose keeps you going in difficult situations. "To make money" can work for a while but would bring anyone unstuck eventually. After all, that's just greed.
    What do you need the money for? Why do all this hard work? Will it bring you freedom?
     
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  7. Darlinghurst Boy

    Darlinghurst Boy Well-Known Member

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    The goal is to build mental toughness.
    Driving a cab done it for me not climbing ropes at a boot camp but i have lost my mental toughness and need to get it back.
    I have lost my mental toughness , i have become a weak persin and someone where people can walk over.
    I never use to be like that .
    I really think its this Sydney culture of not offending anyone that has done it.
    I work in a Government Dept where even looking too long at someone of the opposite sex could get you into trouble for sexual harrassment.
    Several of my female colleagues are on Workers Compensation and receiving counselling as some guys had used the word "darling" at the end of the conversation and they felt sexually harassed.
    I have a work colleague 64yo who has been transferred to the dusty smelly filing room for the next few months whilst they do an investigation of why he called a 21 stone woman "love" when he was talking to her.
    She went in stress leave and he is sitting in the basement filing away with no contact with colleagues until the investigation is over.
    Would it build his mental toughness? The answer is yes !!
    I sneaked down into the LG basement to see him during my lunch break.( no one is allowed to talk him especially witnesses, i was there when he said to her " how are you Love, you been having a good day darling?
    She the complainant a very very large woman thenwent into a blabbering crying mess and has been receiving trauma counselling and they moved old Eric down to the basement whilst a HR investigation is going in conducted by women of course.

    He is by himself and was a happy jovial guy who everyone liked.
    When i saw him he was filing dusty manila folders just mind numbing work until the investigation is over.
    He looked so happy to see me his eyes went bright but i could tell he had been crying.
    I looked at him, he said he was thinking of resigning.
    I said to him, "you only called her love, you call everyone love"you didnt do anything wrong, except maybe dont use the word love anymore.the y picked on you specifically because you are a weak old man who is nice to everyone " i told him.
    " after this is over you may grow some balls and actually change for the better" i told him even though he looked at me shocked.
    Are you going to let them beat you ? Or are you going to show how strong you are ?this is a challenge you weak man i said grabbing him by the collar, start getting mentally tough or go home !! I shouted.
    This perked him up.
    I told him to stick it out to beat the bastards.( you see his competitetor this time HR was using the art of imtimidation to beat him)
    "This is a War your fighting i told him "
    He can train ... Train himself to be mentally tough or run away.
    These situations make you stronger, imagine going through life with nothing challenging you.

    He can do other things whilst filing... He could make the filing exciting even.
    The thing is to train your mind .

    There are many articles on mental toughness , some like Tony Robinson do one thing a week to go past their comfort zone to build mental toughness.

    Going past your comfort zone , what does that mean? Doing something you dont like?
    I dont see how that builds mental toughness... But.. Doing something challenging may do.
     
    Last edited: 16th Jul, 2015
  8. WattleIdo

    WattleIdo renovating Premium Member

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    Why don't you just meditate daily? That'll toughen you up.
     
  9. Darlinghurst Boy

    Darlinghurst Boy Well-Known Member

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    Really? :confused: I didnt know that i thought it was more calming.
     
  10. WattleIdo

    WattleIdo renovating Premium Member

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    So you can't be tough and calm at the same time?
     
  11. S.T

    S.T Well-Known Member

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    Take up a physically demanding sport. Something like long distance running is fantastic for building mental toughness, pushing through your boundaries and having lots of clear thinking time.
     
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  12. WattleIdo

    WattleIdo renovating Premium Member

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    After reading your now edited post, it looks like taxi driving would be sweet relief. Or get out of Sydney. You can't do anything without offending someone.
     
  13. willair

    willair Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    So what happens when Eric books a appointment with the Psychologist then is passed onto the Psychiatrist because this Man has been sitting locus in quo in the basement because of his age
    and for a simple word falls into deep depression,that's not going to build mental toughness all that going to do is a win for worldwide pharmaceutical companies,maybe get a bit of mental toughness yourself and help this Man and tell him ,,if he walked into any legal firm and had a hour talk about what's happening to him and why it may be a different story..
     
  14. Darlinghurst Boy

    Darlinghurst Boy Well-Known Member

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    I dont want to get into the pedantics of Eric's case because we are talking about getting mentally tough And facing lifes challenges.

    But I will say that he cannot go on NSW Workers compensation himself because he is currently under discilplinary action so an injury brought on by discilplinary action will not be accepted most times.

    They are legally investigating her complaint and have a duty to investigate and have separated them both to conduct an investigation into her complaint even though she is currently on Workers Compensation and i heard her claim was accepted as she was traumatised by guys leering at her and making sexual renmarks with her apparently.
    I was a witness to that as were a number of others so we wernt allowed to make contact with him until the investigation is over.
    They are trying to break his Mental toughness by telling him it could take over 6 months to investigate, this is the Art of imtimidation.

    Im certainly not into extremely large women with black framed glasses but some guys might be., i think guys were staring at her because her legs are wrapped in bandages.

    So legally they (the organisation) are doing nothing legally wrong except trying to break his spirit.
    Its times like that you need to get the warrior inside you , the mental toughness , the fesilience.
    Its ok feeling sorry For yourself but it doesnt win does it.

    He can accept whats happened, make a goal to win , fight through it in a positive way OR go the other way.
    Now thats what we all can do and you know the death of our Mother or a Wife or a Child can make someone mentally tough.
     
    Last edited: 16th Jul, 2015
  15. Rixter

    Rixter Well-Known Member

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    Over the past 15 years I found the best way is keep focus on your big picture or 'Why' for investing in the first instance.

    In doing so, I've found all the things I have to do along the way is like water off a ducks back.

    You have to do what other's dont to get what other's wont!
     
    Last edited: 22nd Jul, 2015
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  16. Darlinghurst Boy

    Darlinghurst Boy Well-Known Member

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    Your right "biz" i really think im walking on eggshells sometimes in my workplace particulRy Sydney where people get offended easily.

    Even asking someone if they had a good weekend now can be perceived as invading their privacy and yes i was given a verbal warning about 1 year ago by my superviser for asking a female colleague that.
     
  17. Darlinghurst Boy

    Darlinghurst Boy Well-Known Member

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    Yes you are right !! Just you explained it difficult , FOCUS on your goals and why you go to work , everything else is irrevelant and why you do what you do , for money for properties.
    Is it really important for example to get involved in workplace dramas, committees etc?
    Your at work for the money to make money to buy more wealth.
    Its a road your travelling, why get sidetracked ?
    Everyone and everything else is irrevelant , even taking your job too seriously.
    Try to FOCUS on the profit at work, see nothng , hear nothing and dont take things persinally, number 1 goal is to get the money.

    Some examples are i went into the mens toilets at my workplace and went into a cubicle where i saw closed a cardboard box , now i could of reported that as suspicious but why cause a scene, i simply moved it into the next cubicle with my foot and pretended i didnt see it.




    VISUALISATION , has this gone out of fashion .??
    Visualise you getting there ... You can visualise with your eyes closed everyday imagining yourself already there where u want to be in life.
     
    Last edited: 16th Jul, 2015
  18. WattleIdo

    WattleIdo renovating Premium Member

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    OK I'm getting the picture now. Frankenstein is back. All the best Darlo.
    You should definitely try to pick up some meditation if you can. You've got a lot to work with. Just got a boost of gratitude. Thanks. Over & out.
     
  19. willair

    willair Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    Just get up each day and say this is going to be the best day of your life,there was a post like this on the other site in much the same way as this one, just the poster had a different name ..
     
  20. Rixter

    Rixter Well-Known Member

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    The rat race is merely a means to an end. You have the option to choose your end.
     
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