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anyone Adopted Here?

Discussion in 'Living Room' started by jim1964, 31st Aug, 2015.

  1. jim1964

    jim1964 Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    Any one Adopted and found their birth parents? I did".................
     
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  2. Chilliblue

    Chilliblue Well-Known Member

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    More information
     
  3. jim1964

    jim1964 Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    You want the story?? my life has been a bit oddball.
     
  4. pinkboy

    pinkboy Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    I'd be keen to listen if you're keen to share.

    pinkboy
     
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  5. jim1964

    jim1964 Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    Ok, firstly i want to be very clear my adoptive parents who raised me are in my eyes my only Mum & Dad.

    I think it was around 1993-4 the SA Governent decided to release info to adoptees.It was never kept a secret from me, but in the back of my mind i always wondered my past,where,when,what,how.....you get the drift.I applied and at a interview i got all the original papers and spent hours reading them, i will share i was originally named Peter, but it was changed when the adoption was formalised,James after my grand father.
    Remember at this point of time i didnt have a computer,snail mail,telex and phone calls were all the go.I had authorisation to search Registrar Births & Deaths, Marriages.Nothing,Nothing, Nothing.In S.A........or Victoria.I knew the family surname and area, South East South Australia, good old white pages and called everyone down that way with the same surname.Bingo, she had changed her name by deed poll,this info came from her mother,my grandmother, i pretended to be a friend from school searching for her.Short version is we met, i had 2 half brothers, and in Margarets words i was to never meet them as she was still in denial i existed.Greek culture for the day.xxxx my half brother died at 33 in 2000, i never met him, i did get to go to the funeral incognito though,xxxxxx my other half brother is now 42,i havnt spoken to him since 2000.Margaret and i havnt spoken since 2000.My real father was killed in action in Vietnam at age 22 in 1967.My natural mother is still alive,resides in Melbourne,and to this day will not talk to me. Her loss.....................
     
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  6. Chilliblue

    Chilliblue Well-Known Member

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    Do you feel better for knowing
     
  7. wylie

    wylie Moderator Staff Member

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    When you say "short version is we met..." was that a meeting with your grandmother or your birth mother? I'm guessing you met your living half-brother (now 42) at the funeral for the other half-brother? Did your birth mother know you were there? Or your grandmother? Do you have contact with your grandmother? Sorry for all the questions. I also have a slightly weird family set up but nothing similar at all to yours. I'm curious about it because I saw my mother's sister at my mother's funeral after not having seen her for over 23 years.

    How are you coping with this family situation?
     
  8. jim1964

    jim1964 Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    Sure, i dont need to wonder or think what iff.I had the best upbringing, not a wealthy family, but very close to this day.My dad was a mans man,tough as nails,hard @arse.Set me up for lifes challenges very well RIP dad.
     
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  9. jim1964

    jim1964 Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    The actual search was years because of the info i needed.The short version,yes i met my birth mother numerous times,never my grandmother who died around 1998.My living half brother always thought i was his uncle.I attended the funeral with my natural mothers wishes i didnt sit with the family,when we were together i got some really weird looks from the family as we look like we are mother/son if you know what i mean.
     
  10. jim1964

    jim1964 Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    Sad but it is what it is.Very dysfunctional situation.I know what i need to know, i am happy with that.I have actually never told anyone much about my real father,even my immediate family.He is the hero in my eyes.
     
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  11. datto

    datto Well-Known Member

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    Wow, this is incredible. I can't seem to suppress my feelings any more. Just hope this has a good ending. Cheers.
     
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  12. D.T.

    D.T. Adelaide Property Manager Business Member

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    Good on you Jim, I'm glad you went to go find out. I think it's better to regret meeting someone than keep wondering. Everyone's time is limited.

    I wrote about my dad on somersoft last year. I regretted not searching for him more, obviously a bit easier these days than when I first started looking.

    http://somersoft.com/forums/showthread.php?t=96171
     
  13. MTR

    MTR Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    this is a fascinating story. I am very keen in knowing more about how people cope, react etc once they are reunited with biological parent, though sad and sorry to hear about the outcome in your scenario. Good on your for having the courage to take the steps to locate your biological mother/family

    I have watched many documentaries on this subject and outcome when reunited. In most cases the biological mother suffers enormous guilt and in most cases it's been very positive experience for both parties when they meet. Most who gave up their child always fear rejection, understandable

    On another note I met someone who only found out she was adopted when she turned 21. Shame left this late, this impacted in her life in a negative way.

    Thanks for sharing your personal story and your courage

    mtr
     
    Last edited: 1st Sep, 2015
  14. jim1964

    jim1964 Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    I do remember this, i touched briefly on my situation here as well.
     
  15. jim1964

    jim1964 Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    My sister is also Adopted.Her story turned out pretty good,she was one of the luckier ones.To this day she keeps in contact with her birth mother.
     
  16. DaveM

    DaveM Adelaide Buyers Agent & KFC Strategist Business Member

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    I have adopted 4 animals over the past 7 years, but no kids (only furbabies)
     
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  17. The Falcon

    The Falcon Well-Known Member

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    I'm with you Jim. I was also given the name Peter by my birth mother, bit of a shock when you see your original birth certificate eh? :) Name changed by my adoptive parents 3 weeks later.

    I first met my birth mother a few years ago, and then my half sister as birth mother had to confide in someone...she has kept my existence from my half brother....very weird. Needless to say I can't be arsed with all that so don't keep in touch with my birth mother, but my half sister and I get on well and there has been a falling out between her and her mother of the matter. We keep in touch and catch up from time to time - it's amazing really as we are really comfortable together even though we only met a couple of years ago for the first time. I've never reached out to my birth father and don't intend to.

    I had always known I was adopted, my parents had always been open about that. Dad knows I've met birth mother but I'll never let Mum know, she would take it really hard.

    Mum and Dad who raised me are my real family, now I also have a half sister and a family of my own.
     
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  18. Nemo

    Nemo Well-Known Member

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    My step mother had a daughter in the 60's as a single mum. She had no choice but to give her up. Luckily her sister adopted her, so she got to be involved in her daughter's life to a certain extent.

    My step mum (who is the loveliest person) would love to have a relationship with her and her children, however her daughter doesn't want to.
     
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  19. MTR

    MTR Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    I always like a good story:)

    Did you happen to watch a doco last week I think SBS on IVF babies back in 80s? trying to find their biological fathers??

    Almost impossible because donors were to remain anominous, part of the agreement, the donor was identified only by a number and description of the donor, ie colour hair, height etc.

    Anyway... 2 young adults found their biological fathers. One placed an advert in the paper, with her photo, possible background of her father, many donors were poor medical students. The donor father saw the photo and immediately knew it was his daughter, they looked very similar in appearance.

    But in the main it will be almost impossible to find their donors.

    MTR:)
     
  20. Investig8

    Investig8 Well-Known Member

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    Yes, I'm adopted, as well as my brother and two sisters.
     
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