Health & Family Aged Care

Seeing what happened to others in aged care I count my blessings that my mother and husband were lucky enough to reside in good nursing homes.

My husband had Parkinsons Disease and signs of dementia as a result of the disease when he became a resident at the Regis at Salamander Bay. He was not able to walk without help and needed help with feeding. It was obvious to me very soon that the facility was understaffed and the carers worked like dogs to try and keep up with their workloads despite not nearly being paid enough! There were times when they were not able to shower him but he was showered the next day. Because my husband was not able to walk they had to use a lifting device from bed to bathroom, he was a big man and it took two of the staff to perform the task, very often he had to wait until 2 carers were available. Over time I got to know the girls very well and I knew they cared and wished they had more time for the residents, they knew they needed more staff.

I only ever had reason to complain bitterly to the Manager, that was when they began administering morphine to him without my consent, this was at the end stage of his life. A minor irritant to me was the damage to his clothing when going through the commercial washing machine.

My mother was in a Nursing Home at Stockton, NSW - she had her own room and up to her death [at 93 yrs] was able to go for a short walk, shower herself with some help, walk to the dining room, and was as bright as a button. The staff were considerate and the meals of reasonable quality.

Two very different experiences.

 

My wife gave it a go working in aged care when she was quite young and long before we met.
Absolutely hated it and can be really depressing places , the pay was completely woeful.

 

had lots of dealings with nursing homes in my previous role, quite depressing reality in many of the nursing homes, staffing were poor, carer staff were running on their feet all the time, still unable to provide the care residents needed. and there used to be State government run NH with decent fundings, since several years ago, most of these NH have been privatised ( may or may not be a bad thing), and been run as a business.

hope this RC can discover some urgent issues and address them in a timely manner.

 

Would you be able to share the difference between the two: Years, Price, Locality, Religious affiliation (if any), type of set-up, management ......

What I'm trying to gauge is, preparing for my own old-age, what are the possible signs when picking a place. Does expensive means good?

My mother-in-law was sent to Tricare after a routine check-up at the hospital, which declared her home was not safe for her (She lived alone). As far as I can see, she was quite happy there: lots of activities, friends and relatives visit daily in fact few times a day. From memory the only complaint is they sent her to bed too early!

My own parents still live in Asia and my siblings live with or around them. I believe and hope that they wont have this problem.

 

Yes, it is very distressing to see old people getting treated like that, be it in Australia or outside. I always ponder that if the children themselves do not care about their parents, how can a third-party show more care? I spoke to some agecare workers before and the stories they told me makes my blood boileed:

1. Children took money from Centrelink thru parents payments (because parents were illeterate or bed-ridden)
2. On the odd days the children came visit the parents, they had coffee and food, and left everything for the workers to clean-up the next day
3. Parents had to beg and plead to get help from children to do chores, take them to shoppint etc.
4. and the list goes on and on.....

 

After 5 difficult weeks my mum is moving from a rehab centre to a nursing home tomorrow. My mums plan was to have no plan so everything has had to be organised very quickly under difficult circumstances with little input/help from mum. Mum is a pensioner so I have to deal with centrelink this week too. I have no experience with centrelink except this 28 page form I need to complete and submit for mum. Any suggestions on how I can make this process as painless as possible when I do not have power of attorney? Mum does not think she needs one...……..(as I smash my head into another brick wall).

 

RC into aged care starts its witness hearings tomorrow in Adelaide. This will be interesting.

 

thanks @wylie I have found a retirement centre and tomorrow is move in day. A broker would have been a good idea though

 

Can you make an appointment with your mother's solicitor and ask for their advice about processes?

best wishes

 

No solicitor @Angel. My solicitor and everyone else says power of attorney but not going to happen. Just need to navigate centrelink

 

My heart really goes out to the aged care workers.

I have seen the other side, without working there. My mother in law was a mid-stage dementia sufferer, still living at home with her husband. The stress on him was phenomenal - I used to spend a day a fortnight with her so the "boys" (my husband and his dad) could go and do boy things, like go to the football or fishing.

They would be gone barely 10 minutes and she would be demanding that they have been gone for hours and "should be home by now". The more I tried to explain the more argumentative she became. If my father in law was out of her sight, but nearby, she'd be yelling for him to "come now". She became so paranoid that my father in law would have to chain all the gates and she'd hide things. Even with my one day a fortnight I was so stressed.

My (now deceased) dog was also a "Delta" dog and we used to visit a dementia unit once a week. It was heartbreaking to hear the stories of the staff - patients would go into other patients room and take stuff - they'd attack staff - they would refuse to get out of bed for a shower - and add in all the above paranoia and demands, I don't know how the staff do it day after day. Even my caring and loving dog was ready to leave when the hour was up. One has to remember that the staff are human - they have emotions and limits.

But. The staff were okay with the patients. Apparently the families were horrendous. Family members would be very demanding, threatening, unable to accept that mum/dad were near death and insisting they be kept alive regardless of how the patient was suffering.

It's a hard one - family are expecting staff to do something that they aren't prepared to do themselves. And expecting staff to care unemotionally for mum/dad, but couldn't cope with doing so themselves.

 

Like watching grass grow or playing chasings with a zimmerframe?