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A Forumula for Dissatisfaction

Discussion in 'Investor Psychology' started by MTR, 4th Aug, 2016.

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  1. MTR

    MTR Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    ...........I read this yesterday and loved it, some real gems and nothing to do with property :)

    Forumula for Dissatisfaction

    So much of our unhappiness comes from a constant desire for more.

    And that desire is warranted, but the problem lies in when we try to obtain happiness through material possessions.

    We don’t like to admit it, but it’s true.

    That’s why shopping is such a common, though ineffective, solution when we are feeling down.

    More is better, right?

    Happiness starts with the realization that stuff isn’t going to make you happy.

    Before you dismiss that last sentence, stop and think, seriously.

    Do you feel like buying or having stuff can make you happy?

    It can temporarily, but do you feel like it’s actually the solution when you’re not feeling happy?

    If so, you’ve found your first problem: you put a higher value on physical possessions than they deserve.

    Happiness
    “Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. No person will make you happy unless you decide to be happy. Your happiness will not come to you. It can only come from you.” -Ralph Marston

    Money can’t buy happiness.

    It’s been proven.

    If you’re not happy now, you need to fix the problem now.

    Stop waiting on something to happen for you to be happy.

    You’ve heard it, and probably said it, before:

    • I’ll be happy once I’m debt-free
    • I’ll be happy once I get married
    • I’ll be happy once I get that promotion
    • I’ll be happy once my upcoming test is over
    • I’ll be happy once I am retired and sipping margaritas in Cozumel

    How to Actually Achieve Happiness
    Material possessions can provide temporary happiness, but true happiness comes from a deep sense of purpose.
    For me, that means finding my worth in Jesus Christ and living for Him.

    For you, that may mean something completely different.

    That point is, you have to have your “why.”

    Why you wake up each day.

    Why you’re on this earth.

    Why you were put here in the first place.

    Entitlement is running rampant in our culture, and it kills happiness, because it puts the ball in someone else court.

    Pick up the ball.

    Someone else isn’t going to fulfill your happiness.

    Happiness is your decision.

    Other people can only hinder it if you let them.

    All of this sounds way easier than it is, and I realize that, because I try to live this everyday too and it’s not easy.

    But remember, happiness may not be the most important thing.

    You’re here for a reason — a reason much bigger than yourself.

    When you start thinking outwards about others and less about yourself, you’ll find that happiness comes naturally.

    Find your why.

    Minimize distractions.

    Choose to be happy.
     
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  2. DaveM

    DaveM Adelaide Buyers Agent & KFC Strategist Business Member

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    I am not materialistic and dont let things or others dictate my happiness. I am happy when I am doing what I enjoy, usually my happiest times is when I am out with friends or taking the dogs for a walk or a play at the dog park
     
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  3. Perthguy

    Perthguy Well-Known Member

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    Yes, great post!

    Ugh! I hate shopping! Shopping is more likely to make me feel anxious than happy. If I am down and want to feel happy I spend time with people that I enjoy spending time with. Good friends can definitely cheer me up if I am not feeling happy.

    True in a way but money can buy things that make me happy. I recently bought time and flights to spend time with my family in Adelaide. Money didn't buy happiness but it bought me the time and flights I needed to spend time with my family... which made me happy :)

    Definitely agree with this.
     
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  4. MTR

    MTR Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    Also I think just because some people enjoy nice toys etc, spending money on stuff does not mean they are not happy in their life.
     
  5. Greyghost

    Greyghost Well-Known Member

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    I can't get no .....
     
  6. neK

    neK Well-Known Member

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    I say Money can buy happiness, but only if you let it.

    What i mean by that is
    If money can be used to help out family and bring family closer together because the struggles are minimised and everyone works together, it can bring happiness

    And also these points too :)

     
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  7. MTR

    MTR Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    Being financial secure makes me very happy and it also means I can help my family out.

    However, this one I need to watch out for with my children, I am seeing this now with one daughter - but it is very hard for me to pull back.

    Entitlement is running rampant in our culture, and it kills happiness, because it puts the ball in someone else court.
     
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  8. Perthguy

    Perthguy Well-Known Member

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    Definitely time with friends and family.
     
  9. Colin Rice

    Colin Rice Mortgage Broker Australia Wide Business Member

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    My children make me happy, sad and frustrated all in the same day sometimes!

    My car makes me feel good / happy every time I drive it but wold get rid of it in a flash if it meant that my family is happy and thriving as a result.

    A happy home life is more important than material things. Having surplus money to spend on enjoyable activities / things can definitely add to the happiness though.

    In regards to the entitlement mentality this is something I have observed in my children and Im acutley aware of it. Still working out the solution though but think leading by example is the best practice and finding that balance of self worth v delayed gratification.
     
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  10. beachgurl

    beachgurl Well-Known Member

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    I read the Becoming Minimalist page on Facebook and have the book. It's all about removing the stuff you don't need so you don't spent time fixing/cleaning it and instead use that time to do things that add value to your emotional wellbeing. I recently moved and have taken only what I need to last a short time ie a weeks' worth of clothes for each of us, one dinner setting and cutlery and small amounts of toys for the kids. We haven't really missed much at all and I spend much less time cleaning the house or thinking about my stuff. I now see the Joneses at school and instead of competing with them I just wonder how much money they spend to keep up with others that look the part. In reality those people are likely to be in massive debt to look rich.

    I had someone ask me the other day how I could afford to live where I do and have nice things. Rent and essential goods/services are pretty much the only things I pay for at the moment. I feel much more satisfied with my life than I did a few months back when I used to envy what others had and spent lots of time at the shops looking for the perfect clothes and homewares. All of that just seems exhausting and unnecessary now.
     
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  11. Xenia

    Xenia Adelaide Property Manager Business Member

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    I'm with you MTR
    Totally agreed
     
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  12. EN710

    EN710 Well-Known Member

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    Not every second is a happy moment, there is always ups and downs... but if I ask myself whether I am happy, I think I am quite happy with my life :)

    Hubby and I went to Melbourne last weekend, and while I am not keen with extra travelling costs (yeah!), things that we remember after the trip is not how much it costed. It is the time we spent catching up with friends and the beautiful Torquay beach :) Then back home to the dog
     
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  13. Ace in the Hole

    Ace in the Hole Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    It's not just about material possessions either when wanting more.
    Sometimes it's about performance, goals and achievements.
    I'm most happy when I've put in a hard effort to get a job or achievement done successfully.
    But soon after tend to get dissatisfied with the current level and keep wanting to go higher and higher.
    Sometimes dissatisfaction is a great driver to achieve more.
    No right or wrong, just the way it is.
     
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  14. Colin Rice

    Colin Rice Mortgage Broker Australia Wide Business Member

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    I suffer / have been blessed by the same plight :rolleyes:
     
  15. Lacrim

    Lacrim Well-Known Member

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    • I’ll be happy once I am retired and sipping margaritas in Cozumel
    If you're not happy doing this, you have issues.
     
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  16. truong

    truong Well-Known Member

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    I guess the author of the quote was trying to awaken the spiritual in us and was quite open about it when they say they find happiness in Christ.

    This is very different from trying to please ourselves with external pursuits, even ones that are extremely worthwhile such as friends and family. In the author’s words, this is still someone else fulfilling our happiness and will not answer the fundamental question of why.

    “Choose to be happy”, it’s said. You can’t really choose if it depends on someone/something else.
     
  17. E.T

    E.T Active Member

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    And a man sat alone.
    Drenched deep in sadness.
    And all the animals drew near to him and said:

    "We do not like to see you so sad...
    "Ask us for whatever you wish and you shall have it."
    The Man said: "I want to have good sight."
    The vulture replied: "You shall have mine."
    The Man said: "I want to be strong."
    The jaguar said: "You shall be strong like me."
    Then the Man said: "I long to know the secrets of the earth."
    The serpent replied: "I will show them to you."
    And so it went with all the animals.

    And when the Man had all the gifts that they could give...
    ...he left.

    Then the owl said to the other animals:
    "Now the Man knows much and is able to do many things...
    "Suddenly I am afraid."
    The deer said: "The Man has all that he needs."
    "Now his sadness will stop."
    But the owl replied: "No."
    "I saw a hole in the Man...
    "Deep like a hunger he will never fill...
    "It is what makes him sad and what makes him want."
    "He will go on taking and taking...
    "until one day the World will say:
    "I am no more and I have nothing left to give."
     
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  18. ellejay

    ellejay Well-Known Member

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    I'm the same and it has the knock on effect of making me even happier because I don't have to be pushing myself to pay for an expensive ppor, car or other accessories. Taking extended time away from work is easier because costs are covered with plenty to spare.
     
  19. datto

    datto Well-Known Member

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    Winning Lotto will make just about anyone happy.

    Happiness is like a drug. It will wear off and soon it will be craved.

    Therefore avoid happiness or at least be aware that it idoesn't last all that long.
     
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  20. paulF

    paulF Well-Known Member

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    Great post indeed.
    Material stuff can help with happiness just like many stated above and @datto is on the money when he said that happiness doesn't last as it can and usually wears off. Instead, one should search for contentment in their life and that usually comes from relationships and the environment around us.

    Understanding the difference between happiness and contentment is crucial as most people think they are the same but they are very different. Happiness is temporary but contentment is an everlasting state.

    Circle yourself with good people(no downers and negative people but do try and help them if you can), bring value to other's people's lives(financially/emotionally...), less tv(it's not all bad ...), more nature(hiking/gardening...), more exercise and less staying indoors, more religion/spirituality and more doing the things you love is the way to go. At least that was my experience with it all.
     
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